Searching for the Light
by Sunlight3146
Summary: "What nourishes me also destroys me." - Latin Proverb. Forced to live the first few years of her vampire life under devastating circumstances, finally breaking free at the cost of someone she loved, Cate is finally starting to heal with her brother Phil Dwyer and his family, until she and her new stepsister Bella Swan move to Forks and meet a golden-eyed coven.
1. Kill or Be Killed

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns the Twilight saga and its universe. No profit is made here and no offense intended.**

**Chapter 1: Kill or Be Killed**

Caitlin POV

No matter how much it hurt, I was determined to keep my screams locked inside of me.

The burning, the pain, was worse than anything I'd ever experienced. All the scrapes and bruises and twisted ankles and broken bones accumulated over the years, the pain of those _combined_ could not compare to this pain, this torture. A paper cut, treated with sanitary alcohol; that was a baby's breath in comparison. A bruised knee, forced to bend and flex in dancing; that was a feather-soft touch. A broken leg, from a bad fall in sports; that was a gentle caress. I was being roasted alive, the fire destroying every part of me, all my nerves flaring, reporting pain beyond anything I could ever have imagined before. I was certain that, if someone were to look at me, they would see a pile of ashes where my body lay, a pile of ashes licked by red-hot flames. I'd learned, in history, about executions by burning alive at the stake, and I was suddenly sympathetic to those condemned people. But surely even their suffering had to be better than this, this never-ending fire that burned and hurt, even after I surely should have died.

But I never made a sound. I never moved a muscle, even as the fire raged on.

At first, it was because I couldn't, because I was paralyzed by the pain, unable to move even if I wanted to, unable to shout at whoever was listening to _just kill me please_. All those years of training myself to not react, to fight my instincts to fly or fight, to freeze if I felt threatened because that was safer, had come back to bite me. I could not move. I could not scream. Had anybody been there, I would have begged for death, for this burning to end, if I could speak. I'd never wanted to die before, not even when my sister had died. But death would have been better than the flames; at least it would have been a reprieve. Oh, how I longed for the oblivion my death would provide.

As I began to be able to think around the pain, as the room inside my brain seemed to _expand_, though, I remained quiet. I slowly gained control over my body. I knew it, when I regained control, first within my toes, then later spreading to my arms and legs and mouth. I knew when I could speak, when I could scream, and thrash, and beg for death, but I didn't do it. My mind had expanded, and some part of it must have been absolutely insane, because I didn't scream. I didn't ask for whoever was listening to kill me. I had no idea where I was, or who was nearby, or how much danger I could be in if I cried out. If I spoke even one word, if I moved a single muscle, my control would slip, and I would writhe and scream and cry.

Because one thought echoed through my head. _I didn't want to die._ Even as I internally pleaded for death, I didn't want to die, not really. After all, I was only fifteen years old, which was far too little years of life. I had plans, plans to finally leave my loveless home, plans to go to college and learn as much as I possibly could, plans to become an author and write books for children and teens. Plans to someday marry the man I loved, to have two children, to finally have a real family. I didn't want to die before my life had really begun! Some part of me struggled, fought, to hold on to life, to believe that this could end and that I could be spared.

But what could this horrible burning agony be, other than some sort of punishment for crimes committed while living? I had never believed in one deity or another; was that why I was feeling such pain, because I had not had a faith? Was I in some sort of hellish afterlife? Would the fire that consumed me never end? Was Father correct; was I so damned, so accursed that there was no more hope for me? Had I been too weak, in life, or too dim or too sinful or too despicable? Would I never escape this?

No. I didn't believe it. I _couldn't_ believe it. I was certain that there would be something beyond this pain, that I wouldn't lie here burning forever. Somehow, this pain would end, and when it did, I would be able to figure out why. As the space within my brain grew, so did my wish, my need, to find out why.

_Please_. This pain had to end.

And the fire raged on.

Most of my attention was fixated on the horrific pain and keeping my screams inside of me, even as the number of thoughts I had at one time increased. There was nothing else for me to focus on, either, in my vicinity. Plenty of screams surrounded me, probably others feeling the same pain as I was, if that was possible, but thinking of those only made me want to cry out even more. And I couldn't_. I couldn't_. Outside of that, it was silent.

Only once was the painful soundtrack broken. Three people entered the room where I lay, two women and a man, though how I knew, I had no idea. It had something to do with their scents and sounds. My hearing seemed to have improved; I could now tell the minute differences between footsteps, hear the soft swish of long hair and the rustle of fabric against fabric, as well as the wildlife outside of... wherever I was. And then there were the scents that filled the room, ones that were sweet almost to a painful degree, both pleasant and dangerous. I faintly felt my hair being tugged, the sensation almost unnoticeable compared to the burning, and when it was released, I couldn't feel it's soft caress by my shoulders anymore. I figured that they'd cut it, but I couldn't be sure. While that occurred, one of the women spoke.

Her voice was beautiful, bell-toned, prettier and more delicate than anything I'd ever heard before. She sounded like a fairy, as if anyone else would have heard only musical bells while she spoke. The words, though, she spoke were at odds with the beauty.

"Why this one?" she demanded, her tone slightly whiny, like a child used to instant gratification. "It's so small." Were they speaking of me? Sure, at 4'11", barely over a hundred pounds, I was … petite, but why did that matter to her? Had they chosen me, selected me specifically for this torment, this burning?

A shrug from the man, a slight shifting of the cotton that made up his shirt. "There was something about her that made me chose her. Even if she doesn't turn out to be special, that's still another newborn." His tone was eager to please, though slightly apathetic. I could tell that he served the women, and not the other way around. But what was a newborn? Why were they talking about babies?

The second woman, the one who hadn't spoken, nodded, a faint rustling of hair against fabric. Her voice, an alto tone in comparison to the first's soprano, filled the room. "It does not matter. She will bring us something more, or she won't; either way, she will end, within the year." This woman, despite the first's simpering bravado, was the real leader of the three, the one who made the decisions. But what was she suggesting, when she spoke of me ending? Would I die, in the end?

And then they left, then, leaving me to burn. Long after they'd left, I could still smell the traces they'd left in the room, sweeter and more pleasant, yet also more hair-raising, than anything I'd smelled before. The scents couldn't be classified by any words I knew, nor even words that did not exist, and yet they reminded me of mint and strawberries and cacao, of lavender and maple and honey, of vanilla and cherry and rose. I focused on classifying the scents in the room, then on identifying the wildlife I heard, all to keep the pain from consuming my mind and bursting beyond my control.

And the fire raged on.

I didn't know how long I burned for, but somehow, the pain began to fade from my fingers and toes. Could the burning be ending? But even as I thought it, the intensity increased in my heart, and it began to beat faster, and faster, and faster. The fire in my throat was replaced by a horrible parched feeling, like I was incredibly thirsty for something. I got the feeling that water wouldn't help soothe the thirst. It was a new kind of pain, and it was somehow worse.

The pain was gone from every part of my body, now, leaving a tingling sense of relief, except for in my heart and my throat. My heart, the pounding in my chest, was the wings of a hummingbird, beating so fast I could hardly separate the different pulses, even with my improved hearing. I heard someone approach me, dragging what sounded like a sack behind them, but I didn't pay attention to any of that. I was certain this pain was the final stretch, and it was.

As suddenly as it had started, my heart stopped beating. The fire stopped burning. Only the scorching heat within my throat remained.

For a moment, all I could think about was the marvelous fact that it didn't hurt anymore. And then I opened my eyes and saw him.

My first instinct was to run as far as possible from him. Even though he was fairly handsome, with pale flawless skin and artfully tussled black hair, three things about him made my instincts scream for me to run: his ominous red eyes, the faint scars that crisscrossed his body, and his all-too familiar scent. It was the mint and strawberries and cacao that had set me on edge. Put together, my instincts told me all I needed to know: he was dangerous.

All of this, though, was secondary to the fact that he was dragging two men who smelled sweeter than anything I had ever smelled in my life, not in the almost-pleasant way the too-beautiful man smelled, but in a way that reminded me of the most delicious food. Cinnamon and caramel and coconut and chamomile and cedarwood, all combined to form something I just had to have. The burning in my throat flared up, and before I knew it, I was at the first man's throat, drinking something red that was the most delicious thing I ever tasted. The parched feeling in my throat hadn't let up even the slightest bit before red liquid was gone. Instantaneously, instinctively, I moved on to the second man. By the time I was finished with him, the thirst was a tiny bit better, enough that I could concentrate on the man in front of me.

"What's your name, kid?" he asked, his beautiful voice, tenor bells that I recognized, somewhat at odds with the fear I had felt upon seeing his scars and his eyes. He was the man who had spoken while I'd burned, the one who'd said there was something special about me. He'd asked me what my name was, but I had to think for a moment. For some reason, that memory, and all of the memories I had about my life, were blurry, both because I couldn't remember them that well, and because my senses were somehow much clearer. It wasn't just the sensitivity in my ears and nose that had changed; my touch and sight and taste were so much conscious of my surroundings. Even though it was dark in the room, I could see every detail. It was like everything had just changed color. I could see the spiderwebs in the corners, the bugs on the ground, even the dust specks in the air.

And then I looked at the men in front of me, and realized two things. One, that they were both dead. I had killed them, because, two, the red stuff that had tasted so good was blood. I had just drunk blood.

What had _happened_ to me? I had read _Dracula_, of course, in school, but I was afraid to think the word. Was I… could I be…?

The man cleared his throat, an action I knew could not have been necessary, and I remembered that he had asked me a question. Why was I so easily distracted now? As I'd noticed before, it felt like my brain was much larger now, with more space to hold information. And yet, I couldn't focus on a single question? Quickly, before I could be distracted again, I answered him.

"Caitlin Jean Dwyer." The voice almost didn't seem to be my own. It sounded like the ringing of bells, much like the man and the other scary-sweet smelling people, or whatever they_-we_\- were_._ There was also, though, a strange quality to it, barely noticeable, that sounded almost magical. I hadn't heard it in any of the other voices. What was it?

"Caitlin Jean Dwyer," he repeated, his expression dazed for a moment. He then seemed to shake it off, and grinned almost sarcastically. "Welcome to the army."

«««««« νηγραμ ετ αλβαμ ιν λυμεν βυλτας »»»»»»

The man, who introduced himself as Chris, then proceeded to explain. His first statement, that I was now a vampire like him, was almost laughable, except for the fact that I knew it was true. Why else would I have felt the undeniable urge to drink blood? Why else would my senses have improved so much, my voice have changed so drastically?

Father hadn't believed in gods or angels, but he had known, with iron-clad faith, that monsters roamed the world. I had become one of those monsters. It was both a horrifying, and a strangely humorous, thought. I'd never been good enough for Father. What would he think of me, now?

Chris then proceeded to tell me the rules of vampirism: that we would burn in the sun, that we needed blood at least once every three days, that we were stronger and faster than humans by many times, that the only living forces that could hurt us were other vampires, that the only way we could die was if we burned (either by fire or by sunlight), that we had a perfect memory and much better senses. Then came the information about why I had been created, which was as part of the army (called the Louisiana Coven) led by Delilah and Giovanna, that we were trying to defend our territory from other covens who wanted the plentiful human blood we could access here, that these vampire wars for territory spanned the entire globe. And about the single law of the vampire world, enforced by the Volturi, to never reveal our existence to humans, because the punishment was, of course, death. Had I been human, I knew I could not have comprehended the information at the speed for which it was delivered, but my mind absorbed and catalogued what he told me naturally, without the slightest problem.

Upon completing his explanation, Chris showed me to the building where everyone else - the other members of the army - were. Running was absolutely wonderful and exhilarating. It all came instinctively in a way it never had when I was human - I had hated running or even jogging before. It was dark outside, only slightly lit by the crescent moon in the sky, but I could see and hear and smell everything in the open area. My eyes kept focusing on details, like the individual feathers of the owls that took flight when I came near, and the leaves of the plants nearby. I felt certain that, if I was given the chance, I would be able to read a book from a mile away.

As a human, I had always been average at best and inadequate at worst, but now, for the first time, it all came naturally.

I met the other vampires in the coven in the basement of an abandoned complex, a few miles away from the room I had woken up in. All of the other vampires had bright red eyes, a couple shades lighter than Chris's, and I wondered if I did, as well. They were all extremely pale and beautiful, and though none of them gave quite the same menacing feeling as Chris had, every part of me still knew they were dangerous. Their scents set me on edge, just like their appearances.

I made our count reach sixteen, sixteen fighters not including Chris and the two coven leaders, Delilah and Giovanna.

We were categorized into two groups, based on age: the Januarys, about six months into their second lives, and the Julys, transformed around the same time as me. Within those groups, were 'gangs', each led by the strongest vampire at the time, whose politics was a constantly evolving and tangling mess. I could only discern one rule from the complex dynamic: that no one trusted the others. And for good reason.

Within a fortnight of my transformation, two Julys were killed by a gang of Januarys. By the time a month was over, our numbers, at their peak twenty-nine members strong, would lie at only fifteen.

I resolved to stay away from the other vampires, and, after telling them all to just _leave me alone_, they stayed away. I was glad for it.

Four weeks later, after many nights of training with Chris and one of the coven leaders, Giovanna, and the deaths of seven more Julys and five Januarys, came our first battle. Everyone else seemed excited, especially after Chris's speech, but I just felt sick. I couldn't see what there was to look forward to: my first battle, maybe my first vampire kill, hopefully not my death.

Nothing to look forward to, other than the blood we'd gain, of course. Even though we'd feasted only last night, in preparation for the battle, the never-ending burn in my throat was already making me irritable. And, of course, I could never really enjoy feeding. Chris had brought back thirty humans, enough for two each, but there were always the greedy ones, who would steal the blood if you weren't careful. Everyone always gulped down the blood as quickly as possible, and feeding alone was a rare privilege I'd only seen granted twice.

I could smell the other vampires, with their unfamiliar ultra-sweet scents, once we reached the battleground, as well as the remains of battles fought before. The place smelled overwhelmingly of death, of vampire ashes, of venom. I hated it immediately.

"You know you're ready, soldiers," Chris said. "You're going to win easily. The other side won't even stand a chance. And remember how much blood we'll gain from this. You'll feast for days, maybe even alone. Wait for my signal."

Some of the overeager Julys burst out, prompting a sigh from Chris. "Now!" he spoke, knowing everyone would hear him.

I exploded forward, the other newborns by my side, and the other army came to meet us, teeth flashing, venom dripping. Suddenly, there were pale limbs everywhere, flailing, fighting, flying off. I shrunk back. There were too many vampires, too much violence. I lost track of Chris, of all the others I recognized.

We ran to meet the other army at the center of the battlefield. The battle, the other vampires, became a blur. Teeth flashed, venom dripped, the metallic screeching sound of limbs being torn off was everywhere. The four Julys who had attacked first were gone, heads torn from their bodies. One of the leaders of the gangs was dead, as were many of the Januarys.

With an animal-like growl, one of the other army pounced towards me. Remembering the training I had had, I fought him off. We were about equal in strength, though he was older and had more strategy, while I was faster. I managed to tear off his right hand, but he got my left arm. The venom from his teeth stung horribly, and my entire intent became to get the arm I could see not even four feet away, back.

Something pale, lit by the quarter moon in the sky, caught my eye, and I turned to look, instinctively. I could make out the features of another vampire, standing there, watching all of us. Her glossy black hair was rustled by the slight breeze, and her dark red eyes could be easily seen, even at the distance. She was average in height, but still much taller than me, with my tiny and eternal height of four feet eleven inches. Her scent, vaguely like the smell of vanilla and cherries, was blowing towards me. At first, I didn't recognize her, but after a moment, I did. It was the second leader of our coven, the one who never directly interacted with us, the one who always seemed to be watching us from a distance. Delilah.

The moment's distraction cost me. The other vampire got his hand back, and, before I knew it, had his teeth at my neck. I knew this was the end for me. Then, I remembered the strange obedience the Januarys and Julys had to my voice, how they would never steal my meal if I asked them not to, so I could feed in peace. It likely wouldn't work, but it was my last resort.

"Stop!" I shouted for all the fighters to hear. "Everyone who's fighting, stop moving!"

The result was eerie and would have been humorous, if it were not for the fact the scene was of death. Many vampires were moving in slow motion, as if they were trying to listen to my command and trying to fight, at the same time. Others were simply not moving, listening to my command and not trying to move at all. The male who had been fighting me was struggling to move to kill me. Carefully, I moved out of his grasp and moved a few feet away. I could see that we had been losing, and badly. Most of the vampires on our side were dead and in the flames that flickered at normal speed, even as everything else lapsed ever so slowly.

The sound of another vampire approaching made me turn towards the sound. It was Delilah.

"Nice job, Caitlin. I've been watching you for a while, and you did better than I ever imagined. So what do you say? Let's win this battle."

My heart soared at her praise. She had been watching me? I had done better than she expected? Wow!

She set a new fire, and started tearing apart and throwing the vampires of the other army into it, an easy task since everyone else moved so slowly or not at all. Their speed increased a bit as they fought against Delilah, but they were still sluggish and clumsy, almost human in their motion.

Her words had invited me to help her, to join her in the killing. I hesitated, though. Was it right to kill all of these vampires while they were under my command? It certainly wasn't honorable, but was honor something that mattered in vampire wars? Seeing my inaction, Delilah looked back at me.

"You don't have to, if you don't want to, Caitlin. But you would be doing the right thing. Look how many of us they killed. This is for us. Plus, we'll gain their territory, which will mean more access to blood."

Even though some parts of me protested that it just wasn't right, the other part was convinced by Delilah's words. I wanted blood, and I wanted to be able to believe in someone, something I had never had, all my life. Delilah provided both, and for now, that was enough for me.

I moved forward, and tore the head off the male who had been about to kill me, who had now given up on moving. A horrible metallic screeching sound accompanied the action. I threw the head into the fire, then continued to do the same with his limbs and body. Instincts overpowered his mind trying to follow my commands, and he briefly struggled, but it was too late for him.

As his body was consumed, another part of me, the innocent part that balked at the idea of murder, died as well. I stared at the ashes of my would-be murderer, knowing that nothing would ever be the same.

«««««« νηγραμ ετ αλβαμ ιν λυμεν βυλτας »»»»»»

"No, no, Caitlin. You have to try to _not_ get him to listen to you. Try to get rid of the compulsion from your voice. Again."

I sighed, but didn't speak. As it turned out, using my gift, which I had started to think of as 'compulsion,' was easy enough; it was getting it to turn off that I just couldn't do. Whatever I said, people wanted to obey, even if it wasn't a command. Delilah had some strange idea that I could strengthen my gift by trying to get it to turn off, so I could gain further control over it. The problem was, I couldn't figure out what it was that made my voice special. I knew my gift existed, I just couldn't figure out how it worked.

"Hop three times," I told the newborn in front of me, trying as hard as I could to visualize him not doing it. It was no use. He still did it, looking quite silly as he did - a tough warrior with bright red eyes, hopping on command like a preschooler.

Delilah sighed. She, too, was getting frustrated. After my first battle, in which Delilah had also 'disposed of' all of the vampires on our side other than her fellow leader, Giovanna, we had started focusing on my gift. Giovanna had quickly grown bored and frustrated of constantly being the test subject, and had been impatient at what she saw was a useless waste of time, and had started creating more newborns. Although Delilah had been annoyed at first, she soon had the idea of using Giovanna's newborns as test subjects, and using my gift to keep the newborns under control.

We had started with using my gift to get the newborns to listen to my commands, and testing my limits. As it turned out, I could only change a person's conscious mind, and not their instincts. If I told a newborn to stop from killing a human, depending on their progression into a feeding frenzy and their control, their reaction could range from complete ignorance of my command to a confused battle between the rational mind and the instincts. Factors in me, and how powerful the compulsion was in my voice, could also change the reaction, making the conscious mind weaker or stronger than the instincts. That was, of course, if the

Fighting was a similar story - the control a vampire had, the power of my compulsion, all changed the reaction. Delilah and I hypothesized that the reason why my gift had worked so effectively, that first battle, was because, in my panic, I had pushed an exceptional amount of my gift into my voice. She had constantly tried to replicate the situation to test my limits. In harnessing the emotions I had felt during the battle, I realized that I could do something similar to what I had done at the battle.

That had been eight months ago. Now, I had much better control over my gift, and could usually change how much compulsion I used. But, Delilah still wasn't satisfied. She had dreams for more, and, given that her creator had been a gifted vampire himself, had some ideas as to how I could continue to perfect my gift. Which, for some reason, meant trying to get rid of it.

A light flickered in Delilah's eyes, and I knew from experience that it meant that she had an idea. I also knew that the idea would likely not be a good thing for me, like when Delilah had brought a bleeding human into the room where we tested (I had attacked and killed the newborn rather than command him with my voice), or when she had set all ten of Giovanna's current newborns on me (she'd come in to see all of them in pieces and me sucking the venom out of my bitten-off arm).

"This is going to sound a little crazy," she began, "but what if you visualized your gift? Like, what does it feel like to you?"

She was right, it did sound crazy.

Delilah noted my incredulous expression, and quickly continued. "Matteo always said that his gift, to make himself and other camouflage with their surroundings, felt like a cloak that could drape around him. It felt safe when he was under the cloak, like nothing could hurt him. If he wanted to use his gift, he imagined it covering him, or those he wanted to shield. I think you should concentrate on your gift, figure out what it feels like to you, maybe compare the qualities of your human voice with it. Just see if you can make your gift something tangible, that you can grasp."

I still thought that her idea was crazy, but I tried. For her sake, because Delilah was becoming like an older sister I never had. Someone to take care of me, someone for me to look up to, someone to make proud. If I could do this, Delilah would be proud of me. And that, in and of itself, was worth it.

I closed my eyes. Technically, it would make no difference, but it helped me imagine. My voice, what about it had changed after my transformation? What about it was different than a normal vampire's voice?

Suddenly, I realized what it was. It was something I had even noticed, the first time I had spoken. A magical quality, almost intangible, that coated my words, that felt amazing and powerful and safe. That was it.

I imagined the coating coming off of what I said. This would make me more powerful, I told myself. There was no danger here, I didn't need my power to keep me safe.

"Clap your hands twice," I told the newborn. Once my words came out, I knew I'd done it right. There was no magic in my voice, this time. It sounded almost normal!

The newborn stared, confused, at me, and didn't move. He looked even more confused when Delilah and I started cheering.

"I did it!" I exclaimed. Belatedly, I realized that I hadn't been focusing, and that I'd used compulsion again. Oh well. I just needed more practice.

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When Delilah and I weren't working, she sometimes told me stories. Stories about our coven's enemies, the Monterrey Coven, led by a female vampire named Maria. The coven had been especially powerful up until the 1930s, when, as rumor had it, the coven's second-in-command had deserted. But, in 1934, before the second had left, the coven had attacked Delilah's coven in Houston, killing all of them except Delilah, who had sworn revenge on the coven. There was also the Dallas Coven, led by Lorenzo, who had killed Giovanna's former coven in 1935, but, to Delilah and I, that coven was secondary, especially since the Monterrey Coven was closer to the ultimate prize in the southern area, Mexico City.

Delilah and I were close, much closer than either of us to Giovanna, who was gone most of the time, anyway. When she was here, she was criticizing how we spent our time working on my gift. It had been twelve months since our coven's last battle, and she wanted to fight and gain more territory. I was always amazed at how Delilah kept her temper, patiently explaining her reasoning to Giovanna, again and again. When I asked her about it, Delilah just said that Giovanna, though annoying and short-sighted, had her advantages. She didn't specify what they were, and I didn't care enough to ask. As long as Giovanna remained a outsider to my and Delilah's bond, her existence was fine by me.

At other times, Delilah explained random things about life and prestige in the wars. For example, coven naming standards. The larger the area the name applied to, the more power the coven had. A tiny, newly created coven would be called by their base city, like Baton Rouge, or Dallas, or something similar. A coven with control over most of the territory in an area, like a state, would be named based on the state, like Louisiana. And, of course, a coven with control over a country, in the case of our area, most of Mexico, would become the Mexico coven. All covens called themselves the largest as possible, which was why we always called ourselves the Louisiana Coven, and names constantly changed based on the dynamics of the war in general. The Monterrey Coven, that had killed most of Delilah's coven, had been the Mexico Coven at the time, but when the second-in-command had left, their territory had shrunk as they lost area in battle after battle, and they became the Monterrey Coven again. Delilah's dream was for us to become the Mexico Coven, but her first goal was the Texas coven.

Finally, fifteen months into my existence, Delilah deemed me, deemed us, ready. Giovanna had scouted around, and found evidence that a small coven, nearby had started to intrude on our territory, taking advantage of our inactivity. Delilah, Giovanna, and I, accompanied by a small group of newborns (Giovanna's contribution, just in case) waited near their base city, Alexandria, Louisiana, for them to emerge - the common fear of the Volturi made all battles take place at night, in unpopulated areas. It wouldn't take long for them to emerge, once they knew we were here. Sure enough, we could soon hear their approach.

The two armies faced each other for a moment. The leader of the Alexandria Coven smirked slightly, probably because his army outnumbered ours. The moment of silence passed, and the two sides attacked.

Immediately, I prepared myself, imagining the magical coating covering my voice, while at the same time reliving the fear I'd felt at the first battle. As the few newborns in our army attacked, I spoke.

"Everyone in the Alexandria Coven, freeze!"

Nothing happened. I looked to Delilah quickly, then imagined the coating coming off. "What's wrong? Why isn't it working?"

Delilah was silent for a moment, and I knew she didn't know either. I started to panic - we had gambled our entire territory on my ability. If we lost this battle, we would lose all. So why wasn't my gift working?

Suddenly, I realized what it was. Why hadn't I thought of the problem before? It was so obvious. At that very moment, the leader of the Alexandria Coven, or, as they probably thought of themselves, the other Louisiana Coven, leapt towards Delilah, who's back was turned to him. I didn't think, I just reacted.

"Stop!" I screamed, and everyone who could hear me slowed down, some freezing completely, like they had fourteen months ago. Even Delilah obeyed my command, since I hadn't specified who needed to stop. Because, the thing was, I couldn't. There was no guarantee that any of the opposing vampires would think of themselves in a certain way. I had been extremely lucky, my first battle, that everyone had thought of themselves as 'fighting', because if I hadn't, some would have continued to move. The only way that I could guarantee that everyone stopped moving was if I told everyone to stop moving. Even Delilah.

I looked around the battlefield, at the almost motionless figures around. This wasn't like last time; there was no Delilah to throw the bodies in the fire for me so I wouldn't have to kill. It was up to me. And I had always known what I would do.

I took the lighter from Delilah's jacket pocket, and lit a fire. I focused on my anger at the Alexandria Coven, ignoring the part of me that protested to murder. The leader of the coven had tried to kill Delilah, would probably have tried to kill me next. The coven had tried to steal our territory, our blood supply, and the life of a vampire was war, war, war. Kill or be killed. Survival of the fittest.

One by one, I tossed the frozen vampires into the fire. I didn't watch, couldn't watch, as they struggled briefly, before the fire consumed them. Purplish smoke filled the air, as all of the Alexandria Coven perished. I left the newborns on our side who were still alive alone, since I didn't know what Delilah would want to do with them.

I was certain that Delilah had watched the entire scene, the entire disposal, even though she'd been statutory with the others. I could have sworn that, before I unfroze her, even though she couldn't move, that she smiled approvingly at me. She was proud of me. That was what mattered. This was my life now, and I would survive like I always had.


	2. Live a Life Lost

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns the Twilight saga and its universe. No profit is made here and no offense intended.**

**Chapter 2: Live a Life Lost**

"Matteo, my love. I miss you so much." The words were soft, barely more than a whisper, and yet, I heard them with crystal clarity, in all of their gentle beauty.

But I must have misheard, or else something was seriously wrong here. Delilah trusted me, _loved_ me even, in her own way. Surely, if she'd had someone as significant as a lover, a _mate_, she would have told me. Right?

And yet, there was no mistaking it. Delilah had loved, still loved, this long-haired, dark eyed, handsome vampire, this Matteo she'd only referred to as her creator, to me.

This hadn't been the first time I'd suspected Delilah of hiding something for me, but this was the first time I'd had definite proof. I was six years old.

I couldn't have identified the moment things had changed, the moment I'd started to wonder, but by now, I had several doubts about my creator, my adoptive sister, and the truths she'd told me.

Was it true that wars over blood control raged all across the world? What about in Volterra, where the rulers of the vampire world lived; how did they have time to punish those who broke the rule about keeping the secret, if they were also defending their territory from other armies? I'd begun to notice when, sometimes, Delilah slipped up, and called our battles part of the 'Southern Wars'. Could it be possible that this life of murder and death only existed in the southern hemisphere, the southern continent, the southern region of North America? Was it possible that another way of life existed?

At first, I'd dismissed my ideas as ridiculous and an impossible dream. Surely, if there was a peaceful way of life, Delilah would have taken it, or at least told me about it. She knew I disliked the constant cycle of death that perpetuated my life, because, of course, I was always the one who threw the other armies into the fire. I had been the one to kill Giovanna, three years into my existence, when she had gotten too greedy and had challenged Delilah; I had been the one to kill every vampire of every coven who'd threatened us, and even ones who hadn't.

I admired Delilah, and knew that she would never lie to me. She was logical, intelligent, and cared about me. She never attacked too often, because she knew how I felt about killing, and because that could bring too much unwanted attention to our coven. She taught me to always make sure there were no survivors, no one who could spread word of my power to others, no one who would kidnap me and use me solely for their gain, because I could be a very powerful tool in the wrong hands. Sometimes, there were vampires who didn't respond well to my voice; those, I always had to make sure I discarded of. Delilah had hypothesized that they had some other sort of power, that protected them from my gift.

I'd always trusted Delilah, but what if that trust was misplaced? She'd never hesitated to kill before, so did I really matter more to her than Giovanna, than Chris, than all those other vampires?

And if Matteo mattered so much to her, if she _loved _him, then why hadn't she ever mentioned this to me, before? And were there other things she'd conveniently not mentioned, other things she'd lied about?

And then, the breeze shifted. I knew the exact moment when she scented me. Her head whipped up, and her dark, furious eyes met mine.

"Caitlin," she snarled, the rage in her voice unlike anything I'd ever heard before. "How dare you. Come here. _Now_."

For a fleeting moment, I wanted to flee, to run away from my creator, to compulse her and force her to leave me alone. But that was a ridiculous thought. It was _Delilah_. And so, despite what I knew was coming, I went to her.

"Shirt." It was a terse command. I obeyed, removing the delicate fabric. It was always worst when it was my back, because I could never remove the venom without her help.

"Turn." I turned, showing my bare back to her. And then I was on the ground, Delilah's teeth in my back, another vampire's venom, incompatible with my system, imbedded in my spine.

And it _hurt_. Not in the same way I'd burned, during the transformation; this was a stinging kind of pain, one that felt like a thousand knives cutting into my skin. My right arm came off, and then my other one, adding to the agony. That was a surprise. It was usually one or the other, never both the venom and the loss of limbs.

I couldn't help it. I froze up, like I always did when it hurt. But I could feel every excruciating mark on my body, every nerve that stung from the venom, every inch of the wounds from where my arms had been torn off, and how the flesh there longed to come back together.

My eyes met Delilah's stone cold ones, and I thought the question I couldn't ask. _How long?_

"I'll be kind. Forty-eight hours." Two days, before she removed the venom and let me have my arms back. Two days for me to endure this torture.

Two days for me to wonder why Delilah had lied, to question what I knew to be true and to ponder whether there was something else.

Eventually, I began asking her questions. Small and insignificant questions at first, but questions that held the tiniest bit of compulsion in them. Questions about her old coven, about our enemies, about the Volturi, about being a vampire. I knew that it was common practice to lie to newborns, to better control them. Chris had told me lies when I had first transformed. I wanted proof that Delilah had never lied to me, never tried to control me with ideas that weren't true. Because, surely she wouldn't lie to me.

I found out that she could.

I learned, over time, that vampire wars did not cover the globe. They were only present in the Southern United States, Mexico, and parts of Central America. Everywhere else, vampires wandered as nomads, never staying much in one area, encountering others rarely. They lived peaceful lives, at least, compared to my own.

I learned the real reason why Delilah was obsessed with the Monterrey Coven: they had killed Matteo, her mate. He had died even though he could have escaped, throwing his camouflage over Delilah instead, who had been in danger from a newborn. The Monterrey Coven second had gotten to him, while Delilah had escaped. If it had only been her coven massacred, Delilah might not have set on such a path of revenge, but the loss of her mate kept her from ever forgetting or forgiving.

I learned that newborn armies were technically against the vampire law, but that the Wars continued with them anyway. They had been invented in the 1830s by a vampire named Benito, who had used them so effectively that other covens had to, as well, until the Volturi had stepped in and killed most of them.

I learned the reason why the Volturi were so feared, because they were a coven of extremely talented vampires with terrifying gifts, and the real reason why Delilah always insisted on no survivors. She didn't want to lose me to the Volturi, and not because she actually cared about me. The only reason why she wanted me around was so she could defeat the Monterrey Coven, avenge her mate, and take over as much territory as possible. That was the hardest blow.

I started considering deserting, leaving Delilah. The outcome of the Southern Wars, after all, wasn't something I really cared about, other than for blood. It mattered to Delilah because of Matteo, but I had no connection, and I was tired of the death and the constant use of my gift to control others. It didn't seem right that I had control over whether vampires lived or died. I started to make plans to escape, covertly asking Delilah questions about what I would need to know, using compulsion to make sure she had no suspicions. I still wasn't sure if what to do, though. I didn't want to abandon the vampire who had become my older sister. Even if she didn't care about me, I cared about her. I didn't know if a life as a perpetual nomad would be worth giving up the only connection I had to this world.

I was thinking about leaving this life, one year later, when two things made it so I couldn't stay.

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"Caitlin." Delilah interrupted me from my thoughts with an eager expression. "It's time."

I knew without her saying what it was time for: another battle. Without Giovanna around, constantly pushing for more battles and more territory, Delilah attacked sparingly. Most of our time was spent defending our ground from intruders, but when Delilah decided to take more territory, the gain was always enormous. When we weren't fighting, we were training and strategizing. What would be the best gain? How could I defeat a vampire who could do this, or that, or was this, or special because of that? Most of these scenarios I never encountered, but for some, it did come in handy.

By now, our coven of two had control over all of Louisiana and over half of Texas, and we were still creeping south. We called ourselves the Texas Coven.

It had been two months since our last conquest, and Delilah's expression told me all I needed to know: this battle would be for more territory, not to protect our own.

"Where?" I asked. Our base was now in Houston, closer to the southern edge of our territory, and I knew that our next gain would likely be further south.

"San Antonio." Delilah confirmed my suspicions.

The San Antonio coven was a fairly large coven, that controlled the southwestern parts of Texas and the northern parts of Coahuila and Nuevo Leon. It was the one major coven between us and the Monterrey Coven that was Delilah's goal.

I stood up and covered the pages full of my messy writing. It wasn't like there was anything secret I needed to keep from Delilah, but I felt uncomfortable at the idea of her reading my fiction stories, and thinking of them as ridiculous. I had rediscovered reading when I was three, and writing when I was four, and I spent most of my free time dreaming up ideas.

We arrived at the battlefield outside of San Antonio in less than two hours, to find the other army already waiting for us. Upon our arrival, they attacked immediately and ferociously, sure that their army of sixteen newborns would overpower the two of us. I issued my normal command and was greeted with the typical silence and lack of movement. As I began tossing newborns into the fire, though, a flash of movement caught my attention.

One of the newborns had been faking obedience, and, upon seeing my back turned, had fled. Of course, I chased after her. I caught up quickly - I had always been pretty fast at running, faster than most newborns. I forced her to turn towards me, but her face sent me into a whirl of blurry human memories I had all but forgotten.

I saw a little girl who looked just like her. I saw my first meeting with the girl and her mother, whom my father had brought into our household as a servant after they had lost their home. I hadn't understood why at first, until I had learned that the girl was my half-sister, the illegitimate child of my father and the woman, and that the woman had threatened to reveal the secret and ruin my father's reputation unless he took them in. I remembered the joy and protectiveness I had felt about my new little sister, Fiona. I saw myself comforting Fiona after her mother's death, then trying to shield her from my father's rage. He had hated her because she was a reminder of his biggest mistake and how it had come back to haunt him. I saw her death, in a car crash, only a few days before I had become a vampire.

Could this vampire be my Fiona? No, it was impossible. Fiona had died, there was no doubt about it. There had been a mangled, burnt, eleven-year-old body in the car, along with Fiona's best friend and the friend's driver. All three had been identified, all three were certified as dead. This newborn couldn't be Fiona, but I couldn't help wondering if this newborn had been the beloved little sister of someone else.

In my hesitation, she attacked. Her attempts were feeble and without strategy, and I quickly overpowered her.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, before I tore her to pieces and threw them into the fire. I finished the job, but the night's events made it clear to me. I didn't want to kill anymore. Why should it be up to me who lived and who died? If I stayed, all that would lie in my future would be death and bloodshed and loss. I might not find family if I left, but I knew I would find peace, and that was worth leaving Delilah for.

As we ran back to our city, I was pretty sure that Delilah knew that I was going to leave. She didn't say anything, though, and I thought it would be all right. She followed me to my hideout, the attic of an abandoned house, which was unusual, but because she didn't say anything, I paid no attention to her. I started gathering my few belongings, and she still said nothing. If it were not for her distinctive scent, I would have thought she had left.

There was a sudden motion behind me, and I turned then, but not quickly enough. I froze when I realized that Delilah had her teeth at the back of my neck. I'd been in this situation only once before, though I'd imagined my response many times before. I had never expected that it would be Delilah who tried to kill me.

"Stop!" I yelled quickly, and she froze, mimicking me. The skin at the back of my neck was tingling at the sensation of her teeth there, but I didn't dare move, in case she was faking her obedience to my compulsion.

"Let go of me," I said slowly, once I was sure that she wouldn't rip my head off if I said anything. She complied. "Step away, slowly."

I turned once she was a few feet away. "Why?" I asked. I needed to know. "Tell me the truth."

"You were going to leave," she replied, after a pause. "I didn't know where you were going, and there was a chance you would go to another army, maybe even the Monterrey Coven. I couldn't risk that. I waited as long as I could, but it got too risky. Tonight's battle and it's aftermath proved that you couldn't be trusted. If I can't have you, no one else should be able to."

"But don't you care about me?" I asked, already knowing the answer, but not wanting to believe it. "Don't leave anything out."

"No," she replied bluntly. "The only thing that matters is revenge for Matteo. You've never been in love, you've never had your mate killed in front of you. You don't know what it's like, to see him ripped to pieces, to know that he could have lived if it hadn't been for you, to keep running from his murderers because only you can avenge his death. When he is alive, all that matters is him. When he is dead, the only thing keeping you alive is revenge. Nothing else, no one else, matters. I waited 53 years before you showed up. You were the best hope I had for destroying the Monterrey Coven, for destroying Maria, but waiting longer doesn't matter. Only Matteo does."

That night, I told Delilah goodbye, and commanded that she never look for me again. I didn't want any reminder of my former life. I wanted to head north, away from the wars. My only regret was that I would still have to kill humans for meals, until Delilah told me, under compulsion, about a possible diet of animal blood. I was determined to try this new, no-killing lifestyle.

I left, planning to wander, with no destination in mind, and with only two convictions. One, to never kill again if I could help it. And two, to never trust another vampire again. My experiences with Delilah had taught me enough. The only thing that mattered to our kind was our mates, and we would do anything to keep our mates out of danger.

As I ran north, I was mourning, mourning the life I'd had, the life that was now lost to me. I felt guilty for it, of course, but I still longed for the ignorance I'd had before. It had been so simple back then - my only goals had been to please Delilah and to get as much delicious blood as I could. I wished I still believed that Delilah loved me, that all would be well if I followed her commands.

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The first few months, I stayed away from all humans. I didn't know if the control that stemmed from my distaste of killing could hold, and my reaction to the lack of human blood proved it. Venom constantly pooled in my mouth, no matter what I did or how much I tried to swallow it down. Animal blood tasted disgusting, and I was never able to enjoy drinking it, so my thirst never really cooled, and my eyes always remained dark-ish.

I reminded myself of my vow to never kill again, though, and told myself that the humans I thought of feeding on had lives of their own, families and people who cared for them. I remembered the feeling I had felt when I had lost Fiona, then Delilah, and convinced myself that briefly cooling the burn in my throat wasn't worth the pain it would cause others.

Slowly, I began to appreciate the taste of animal blood. There were slight different flavors, and though it couldn't compare to the taste of human blood, it was worth it. My favorite was coyote, though all predators tasted pretty good to me.

I was lonely, beyond anything else, though. I hadn't spoken in nearly four years, and I craved company, any kind of company. Even talking to humans seemed better than eternal solitude. I started testing myself around the scents of humans, taking cautious breaths near human towns. The first few times, my eyes had gone black and I had either run back to the forest to feed on the closet animal I could, or lost control and killed a human. Each time, I had waited until my eyes were a bright gold, before trying again. I killed seven humans in these experiments, three when they wandered too close to where I lived in the forests, and three who'd smelled too good when I was finally mostly able to wander in towns.

When I was seven years into my new life, and fourteen vampire years old in total, I was able to walk into towns and be around humans without my eyes darkening all the way to black.

I figured out that I was somewhere in Pennsylvania, far enough into the Northern States that the only vampires around were nomads like myself, only not quite like myself, since they all drank human blood. I never met someone else with golden eyes. I greeted them, but never got close. I knew about our nature well enough, and I wasn't going to get myself pointlessly hurt again.

I liked going to events with large crowds, in open spaces. It was easiest to resist my thirst outside, and I could blend in with so many others around, as well as an unnaturally beautiful vampire could blend in. Pennsylvania had the added benefit of being cloudy in the winter, so as long as I kept an eye on the sky, I could usually be outside.

My favorite thing to do was watch sports games.

I didn't really understand how sports teams and leagues worked, and I'd never been extremely interested in it, as a human, but being part of a crowd, cheering and booing as the team I cared about won or lost or scored or was defeated, made me feel almost human.

I was watching a baseball game, the home team Erie SeaWolves of Erie, Pennsylvania, defending against the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp of Jacksonville, Florida, when I saw him.

He was a lot older now, but that made sense, since it had been fourteen years since I had last seen him, and humans could age a lot in that time. I remembered that he had been into sports when we were kids, and he had spent most of his time at school or with his team instead of in his dysfunctional home. Not that I blamed him for it - I had had a different escape, my books, but I had often wished I could physically escape our household.

Now, it seemed, he was playing for a living. Phil Dwyer, my older brother, now played ball with the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp.

I thought about checking up on him, seeing how he was doing. He would be 30 now; did he have a wife? Children? What had happened to the rest of our family, after I'd disappeared? Of course, it wasn't like there had been much of a family left. Our mother had died when I was born. Our father's mistress had died when I was eleven. Our half-sister had died two years after that. I had disappeared twelve years ago, so the only human relative Phil had left was our father, if he was still alive.

I decided to talk to him after the game. We had never been too close, but he was my older brother, my family. Of course, he couldn't know that I was his sister, since that would be breaking the law, but maybe I could introduce myself as a distant cousin, or a niece.

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"Hey, excuse me, are you Phil Dwyer?" I asked as my brother left the locker rooms after the game (which they had lost, 4-3). He turned towards me instinctively, and I smiled comfortingly. Human instincts generally told them to fear vampires, but I could usually counter that with a smile.

"Yes, I am," he replied. "I'm sorry, do I know you? You look like someone I used to know..."

I hadn't realized that his memory would be so good; he definitely recognized me as his sister. Quickly, I changed my background story.

"Well, you probably know my mother. She was your sister. Caitlin Dwyer? I'm her daughter, Katherine, but you can call me Kat. I've been looking for you."

Now, Phil looked confused. I'd used compulsion when telling him the story, but what his mind told him was the truth didn't fit with what his memories told him.

"But Caitlin died seventeen years ago, when she was fifteen," he said, unsure of himself. "It would be impossible for her to have a daughter."

I cocked my head as if I were confused. "No, don't you remember? Caitlin was sent to a boarding school, then got into an average university, but then she got pregnant, and dropped out. Your father disowned her, and she started writing novels for a living. She died, though, when I was ten, and I've been bouncing through orphanages ever since. They finally let me look up my family, and I found you. I'm thirteen, by the way."

Why on Earth was I telling him so many lies? Why hadn't I just introduced myself as a random person? I disliked using my gift, so why had I felt the sudden urge to make up a believable but untrue story?

"Oh," Phil replied. We were silent for a while, neither of us knowing what to say, until Phil broke the silence.

"Would you like to live with me?" he blurted, leaving us both shocked.

"I... What?" I asked. How had my lies led him to that?

"You said that you've been living in orphanages ever since my sis-your mother's death. So I was wondering if you maybe wanted to live with me instead. It's completely up to you," he added quickly, looking at the ground.

At first, I was going to say no. There was no way that I, a vampire, could live with a human. My throat was already tickling a bit at his scent; I couldn't imagine being around it 24/7. There was also the fact that he traveled around a lot, playing baseball, which he probably wouldn't be able to do if he was also dragging around a 'kid'. The minor issues of the fact that I didn't sleep or eat, as well as that there were no records of my existence, also were present.

Then, I looked at him, really looked at him. His eyes were hopeful, and he wouldn't have made that offer if he hadn't really meant it. But it seemed like there was some underlying motive. At last, I recognized it, the feeling I had felt since I had set off on my own.

We both were lonely.

Maybe, if I had someone to love, if he had someone to care for, we could be a little less lonely. And it wasn't like I couldn't solve the other problems. A little bit of compulsion and self-control could do the trick.

But was this what I really wanted? I knew, deep down, that my answer was yes. Definitely yes.

Maybe I could just live with him until he found someone else. After all, I was pretty sure humans usually married before 37. Maybe he would find love. I could stick around until then.

I met his gaze, the blue eyes that were the same shade as mine had been when I was human.

"Sure," I replied, returning his smile. "I'd like that."

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Within a week, I'd convinced the necessary people that, (1), I actually existed, (2), Phil was qualified to 'take care of me', and (3) I could be homeschooled so Phil could still travel. I planned to spend as little time as possible on the actual middle school-level lessons, and as much as I could learning other things. There were so many possibilities, now that I actually legally existed. Online courses, college lectures. Maybe I could even continue writing stories, and actually publish them.

I was fairly happy with my brother. We became closer than we ever had been when I was human, and it was nice to have someone I knew cared about me. I was extremely aware, though, that I was on limited time. Sooner or later, Phil would notice that I never looked older, and when that happened, I would have to leave. There was only so much my compulsion could do. But for now, I was satisfied with what I had. It was a better life than I had ever had. Phil seemed to want to make up for his father's inattentiveness with love and care, and he really was a great parent.

There were, of course, some drawbacks. For one, I had to feed almost twice as often as usual, to keep my eyes from becoming too dark, and so I would be able to resist Phil's scent. It seemed to get easier, the more time I spent around him, almost like I was getting used to how good he smelled.

For another, there was only so much not-eating human food I could get away with. For the first time since I'd become a vampire, I had to actually eat the disgusting-smelling, solid, chunky food that was nourishment for humans. I found out quickly that my body couldn't digest the food, so whatever I swallowed had to come back up again.

I also practiced acting human - blinking, fidgeting, acting tired, using the restroom, moving slowly, not using all my strength. At the beginning, I messed up a lot, but by gauging Phil's reactions, I learned what was 'acceptably human'.

When I was eighteen vampire years old, I published my first book, under the pseudonym of 'Sunlight Evans', after something I could never experience as a vampire and the maiden name of a favorite book character. It was fairly popular, not enough to attract too much attention, but enough that I actually started earning money. Of course, I invested and saved, and soon, I had amassed quite a small fortune.

I knew I would never live that life I'd dreamed of, as a human, with a true family and a loving home, but it was an echo of the life I'd lost, and I was content with it.

Then, two years after Phil 'adopted' me, my life changed once again.


	3. Better Left Untold

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns the Twilight saga and its universe. No profit is made here and no offense intended.**

**Chapter 3: Better Left Untold**

We were in Phoenix, Arizona, when he met her.

Renee, Phil's new girlfriend, was nice enough, though a little forgetful and scatterbrained. She switched interests frequently, and seemed more like a child than an adult. I was happy for the two of them, since they really seemed perfect for each other. Renee brought out the playful, younger side of Phil, while Phil made Renee slightly more grounded and responsible. I had no problem with them being together; it even made the idea of me leaving a little easier to picture. Phil would be saddened, but all right, with Renee there.

I was fine with Renee, but not with her daughter, Isabella Swan.

Isabella (I refused to call her by her preferred name, Bella, because it annoyed her when I called her Isabella), was the same age as I had been when transformed into a vampire, the same age as I was now pretending to be, and four years younger than my vampire age. Even though our 'parents' got along so well, even though we both wanted them to be happy, we loathed each other.

We were complete opposites, in more ways than one. Physically, she was average height, while I was extremely tiny. She had long brown hair, while mine was short, wild, and spikey (a result of the wars, where it was custom to cut a female's hair while she was in transition). She was overly responsible and a goody-two-shoes, while I had to break laws to protect my family and was cheerful in a way she could only dream of.

There were countless other differences between us. She went to a public school, while I was 'homeschooled'. She loved reading classics, while I wrote fiction novels. She looked average, while I had a vampire's beauty. She was good in school, but I was better. She was in advanced classes, but I took college courses in my free time. She was beyond clumsy, while I was graceful (I had been so as a human as well - I had even done rhythmic gymnastics until it became clear that (1) I was much too short, and (2) my father wasn't willing to support me doing an activity he didn't consider a 'sport').

I hated her even more so when it became clear that she was trying to 'take care of' me. Me, a vampire more than twice her age (in total), who could outshine her in every way possible. She always made meals for her mother, and later, Phil, and tried to get me to eat them. That part disconcerted me - she was uncannily observant, and it felt like it wouldn't take her long to figure out my secret. I was extra careful around her, and used my compulsion when I felt the need to, regardless of my inhibitions, but sometimes, it felt like it didn't work, like she saw straight through my lies.

Yet, we both shared the same goal, to make the couple that was our parents happy.

It became a sort of competition, though not a friendly one, to see who could do it the best. She cooked meals and did fancy romantic dinners for the two of them. I got them tickets and passes to all kinds of events, from ziplining to watching shows at the theater to music lessons for the two of them. I paid for all of it, with my earnings from my books. We completed in other things, too, like school studies and learning to drive a car (my pretend sixteenth birthday was September 14, Fiona's birthday, only a day after Isabella's birthday), but making our parents happy was the main thing we conflicted on.

Renee and Phil didn't exactly see our competition and mutual distaste, but both were smart enough not to take a side when asked.

Then, something came up that we just couldn't ignore. After nearly two years of dating each other, my brother had finally gotten the courage to propose to Renee Higgenbotham. Their wedding was to be sometime in September, 2004. And they told the two of us, Isabella and I, that the best wedding present they could hope for was for us to plan the wedding. Together.

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We had been staring at each other for two minutes, now, neither of us willing to back down. I could stay this way indefinitely, but Isabella was only human, and I could tell that she was already getting uncomfortable. Finally, she took a deep breath and looked away.

"I don't see how they expect us to do this," she mumbled. I, of course, could hear her perfectly well. "Don't they see that we hate each other?"

"I suppose we could just not do it," I said reluctantly, but we both knew it wasn't happening. We both wanted to make the couple happy, and the only way to do that would be to plan the wedding together.

"Let's just try to stay out of each other's way, as much as possible," Isabella suggested.

I nodded. "Agreed."

Neither of us thought that it would be impossible for two sixteen-year-olds to plan a wedding.

She took out her computer, and started typing. "Looks like the first thing we need to do is determine a budget."

"Money's not a problem," I replied quickly. Not only did I have the money from my novels, but Phil was also the sole recipient of our deceased father's inheritance, which included a lot of old money.

Isabella narrowed her eyes. "That's another thing," she said. "Why isn't money a problem?"

I shrugged. "Our family has plenty of it."

She let it go for now, but I got the feeling that this question was going to come up again.

We went through what we had to do to plan the wedding, splitting it up so that neither of us had to encounter the other much, and got the necessary people and companies involved. We planned on getting our partnership over with as little interaction as possible.

We soon found out that that would be impossible.

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I had never imagined that planning a wedding would take so much work! There were countless things to do, from booking the venue, to finding a good dress for Renee, to creating a guest list, to preparing the food. Despite our best efforts, Isabella and I kept having to go back to the other to discuss and confirm and plan. I found that her responsible nature wasn't such a bad thing when it came to figuring out how everything would work, and she admitted that my love for shopping had come in handy when finding the outfits everyone would wear for the wedding.

I also had some additional constraints. In general, I couldn't be out during the day, since it was sunny almost all the time in Phoenix. The wedding also had to take place during the evening, since, inevitably, I would have to walk outside at some point. It was easy enough to convince everyone except Isabella to go shopping on cloudy days, and to have the wedding take place after sunset, but, surprisingly, Bella didn't ask me any awkward questions about my avoiding the sunlight. It seemed like she had decided to trust me, but I knew that her keen eyes still missed none of the mistakes I made, the things I had to avoid.

We even had some fun times, when Bella tried walking in heels, when I tried to cook lunch for the two of us, when we realized that we'd almost forgotten to send the wedding invitations.

The day of the wedding finally came, on September 18, 2004. Bella and I were bridesmaids, along with some of Renee's friends, and some of Phil's baseball teammates and other friends were his groomsmen. At the party afterwards, Bella ended up catching the bouquet of flowers thrown from Renee's hands, and I teased her good-naturedly afterwards. Many people came to congratulate Bella and I for doing so well on planning the wedding, and we both smiled and accepted the compliments.

Then, Renee and Phil came, and told us that they were proud of us for working so well together, and for doing such an amazing job. I realized that I had actually started to think of Bella as my sister, and, from the look in her eyes, I knew that she had just realized the same. The competition between us wasn't gone completely, nor was the annoyance at some of the other's habits and tics, but it all was friendly and sister-like.

I was amazed. After what had happened with Delilah, I hadn't thought this would ever happen. I had actually accepted Bella as my sister. My life had turned 180 degrees around from the point where I'd left Delilah. I was happy now, with an amazing family in a life I never thought I'd have. I didn't think anything could go wrong now.

«««««« νηγραμ ετ αλβαμ ιν λυμεν βυλτας »»»»»»

The day after the wedding, while Renee and Phil were on their honeymoon in Greece, Bella approached me with an unusual look on her face. I knew before she said anything what this would be about.

"Katherine. You may have been able to fool Renee and Phil, but somethings just don't add up. Why do you never eat? Why are you always up at night? Why do you leave the house sometimes at night? Why can't Phil remember anything about you from before the time you were thirteen? Why doesn't it seem like you ever age? Why do you have so much money?

"What are you?"

I sighed. I had known that this would come up, sooner or later. Bella had always been more perceptive than most, and my compulsion never seemed to work on her. But should I tell her, or should I give her another lie?

"Please. Tell me the truth," she said, almost as if she knew what was going through my head.

I wanted to tell her the truth. I had only recently received her trust, and I didn't want to ruin our newly forged relationship. But, at the same time, did I want to condemn her to a life as a vampire? Because that was what had to happen, if I told her. I would have to change her into a vampire, sooner or later, because there was only two choices for someone who knew about vampires, transformation or death.

Bella had an entire life in front of her. I didn't want to take that away from her.

But it shouldn't be up to me, I realized. It should be her choice, whether she wanted to become a vampire, or stay human. Maybe, if I avoided other vampires, she could stay human and know the secret. It wasn't like she would shout it out to the world, if she knew about vampires.

And, beyond that, I knew what I wanted. I wanted someone I could confide in, someone who knew everything about me. Maybe Bella, my new sister, could be that person. Even though this secret was definitely better left untold, maybe it wouldn't hurt to tell Bella. Just this once.

I nodded at last. "I'll tell you. You know that I'm not normal, Bella. I'm not natural. I'm a vampire."

The fact that she didn't scream and run away, or laugh at me for being ridiculous, was a promising sign.

"How?" she asked after a moment.

"My name is actually Caitlin Jean Dwyer. I'm Phil's biological sister. When I was fifteen, I was attacked on my way back home. After three days of extreme pain in transformation, I woke up, to see an inhumanely beautiful man, who dragged with him the unconscious bodies of two men. I moved faster than I thought was possible, and drained them both of blood."

I told her about my past, about the wars, about leaving Delilah and my time as a nomad, about finding Phil and my desire for companionship, but my mistrust for other vampires. I told her about the amazing parts of being a vampire, from the enhanced senses to the speed to the memory to the perpetual curiosity. She was silent throughout it all, her face carefully neutral, so that I had no idea what she was thinking.

Then, I told her the hard part, about vampire law and how it now required that she be transformed into a vampire as well or die.

Of course, being Bella, she asked if I would change her now.

"I'm not sure if I would be able to control myself," I admitted. "You don't know how tempting it is, even though I haven't tasted human blood for seven years. A vampire's memory is perfect, and just thinking about it… And you don't necessarily have to be changed. If we don't meet any vampires, then we could keep your knowledge a secret."

She shook her head. "You told me yourself. You would be executed if the Volturi knew that I knew. And I'm not really against being a vampire. It doesn't sound that bad."

I didn't think she knew what she was talking about. Three days of extreme pain, followed by one year of uncontrollable thirst, and a lifetime of guilt from all the humans she would inevitably kill? Isolation from everyone else until she could get her thirst under control, then for the rest of her existence, because it was too dangerous for us to get close to humans? If there was one thing Bella finding out had taught me, it was that it was dangerous to get close enough to humans for them to figure out the secret.

"So, when you're ready?" she asked.

I nodded. If this was really what she wanted, then who was I to deny her of it? "When I'm ready, I'll change you."

We were silent again. Finally, Bella broke the silence.

"If your name is actually Caitlin, then what should I call you?"

I took a moment to think about it, then smiled. "I think I like the name Cate. C-A-T-E. It's like a mix of Caitlin and Katherine."

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At first, when the competition season began again, and Phil started to have to travel again, Renee stayed with Bella and I in Phoenix. Bella attended a public school there, but the constant sun kept me from being able to go out much, so I stayed 'homeschooled.' Both Bella and I could see, though, that being apart hurt Renee and Phil. They wanted to travel together, and we were the ones keeping that from happening.

I couldn't see a good solution, though. I didn't want Bella to be homeschooled, since she would miss out on a lot of human experiences. If she was going to become a vampire, she might as well enjoy being a human while she could. There was also no way we could convince all the people necessary that Bella and I could stay in Phoenix while Renee traveled with Phil. There were just too many people involved for me to use my gift well - only people who directly heard the lies from me would have an unnatural belief in what I said, but if there was anyone who hadn't met me and who looked at, for example, documents about our case, they wouldn't necessarily believe that something was what I wanted them to believe. That was why every story I made had to be at least somewhat believable, in case someone I hadn't spoken to learned the story.

Finally, Bella came up with a solution. Her real father, Charlie Swan, lived in a small town on the Olympic Peninsula in Washington State. The town, Forks, was the rainiest place in the US, which would be perfect for me if I wanted to attend public school with Bella. We could go there with the excuse of wanting to get to know Bella's father better, allowing Phil and Renee to stay together.

It took some convincing, especially from Bella, who was a terrible liar, and who had said many times in her childhood that she hated Forks. But, eventually, we had everyone involved convinced. We would stay in Phoenix for the New Year's, travel to Forks, and start school on Tuesday, January 18.

The plane ride was uncomfortable, with so many warm human bodies cooped up in one place, but bearable. It wasn't the first time I'd been on an airplane, after all. The car ride with Bella's father, who told me to call him Charlie, was kind of awkward, since neither Bella nor her dad said much to each other, and since I felt like I was intruding on their family.

The house Bella and I would live in was small, with only two bedrooms, which meant that Bella and I would be sharing the already small room. Technically, I didn't need a bed, since vampires never sleep, but Charlie had put one in anyway.

That night, while Bella slept, I went hunting. I didn't go far, since I had to be back by the next morning, and I just fed from some small creatures in a nearby park. For some reason, I felt the need to distract myself however possible. At first, I couldn't figure out why, but after my eyes were a light honey color and the burning in my throat soothed, I realized.

I was nervous for my first day of school for twenty-one years.


	4. Dangerous Dreams

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns the Twilight saga and its universe. No profit is made here and no offense intended.**

**Chapter 4: Dangerous Dreams**

The first day of school went pretty much as I would have imagined it. I easily convinced the receptionist, Mrs. Cole, to change my schedule to match Bella's, for two reasons. One, because I had smelled the faint scent of other vampires in the town, and two, because I couldn't remember how everything worked at a public school.

The students were drawn like toddlers to a shiny new toy, to Bella and I. If I'd been alone, I would have made them to leave me alone with my gift. I'd learned from Bella - I couldn't risk them getting too close. But Bella was human, after all, and it was clear that she wanted companionship other than just me. She never would have complained, of course, since it was just like her to be selfless, but I felt that she should be happy, especially since she was already suffering without the constant sun there had been in Phoenix.

I kept on smelling the faint scent of vampires, but I never saw any, and I didn't want to ruin Bella's day, so I kept that observation to myself. Until lunch.

The moment we entered the lunchroom, accompanied by one of Bella's new friends, Jessica, I saw them. There were five of them, an amount that terrified me. I knew it the second they saw me, too. The blond male, a vampire with a terrifying number of scars, even more than me, kept his gaze locked on me. My mind quickly evaluated that he would be potentially even better than me at fighting. The tiny black-haired female, by the looks of it, the blond one's mate, closed her eyes and looked to be concentrating hard. She didn't look like much of a fighter, but I was a prime example of how looks didn't always dictate fighting ability. The blond female glared at me once, then went back to staring into the eyes of her mate, a huge brown-haired male, who had completely ignored me. She probably wasn't as dangerous as he was, but I knew first-hand that vampires like him tended to rely too much on their strength, and thought that he probably wouldn't be much of a strategist. The red-brown haired male looked at me, then concentrated fiercely on Bella with an annoyed and angry expression on his face. There was something about him that hinted that he wouldn't be an ordinary fighter.

The fact that they had varying shades of gold eyes did little to comfort me, especially given how the last make had looked at Bella. We were in danger, and I needed to protect my sister.

Immediately, I bent down, clutching my stomach. The humans around us quickly turned towards me.

"Oh my gosh, Katherine, are you all right?" Jessica asked. Bella only looked at me strangely. She knew that I was faking, since vampires never got sick.

"I don't feel very well," I said as if was actually sick. "Bella, I think we need to go home." She understood my message.

"Okay, Cate," she said. "I'll drive us home."

The moment we reached the car, a horribly slow and old red Chevrolet truck, Bella turned to me. "What is it?" she asked. I knew she wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer.

"Did you see the five siblings at the side of the lunch room?" I asked.

She nodded. "The Cullen siblings? Jessica told me about them."

"They're vampires," I informed her. She nodded as if she had already known.

"So?" she asked. "I saw their eyes. They're animal drinkers, like you. Doesn't that mean they're not dangerous?"

I could have growled at her. "Not dangerous? Not dangerous? Everyone of my kind is dangerous, regardless of their diet. What if one of them loses control? What if one of them decides you know too much? There were at least five of them, Bella, and all but one were mated. You know how vampires are like around their mates."

"Seven," Bella corrected absently. "There are two more, the 'parents' of the coven."

"And, no doubt, they're mates too."

She shrugged. "They haven't done anything yet, Cate. Give them a chance."

I shook my head. "No. It's too dangerous. I won't let you."

Now, she was the one looking at me incredulously. "You won't let me?" she asked. "No, don't answer that. If we leave, where would we go? Back to Phoenix? Back to making Phil and Renee miserable?"

"You don't understand, Bella," I replied. "This isn't about how I feel, or how you feel. This is life or death."

"Let me finish," Bella said. "You want us to go back to Phoenix, to force my mom to stay with us again, because you're scared a group of golden-eyed vampires, who haven't even done anything, might attack us?"

The way she put it, it did sound a bit ridiculous.

She shook her head. "How about this. If, at any point, they do anything that the two of us together consider dangerous enough, we leave. If not, we stay. Give them a chance, Cate."

I had one last thing to try. "The blond male-"

"Jasper," Bella interrupted.

"Okay. Jasper. You didn't see how many scars he had. He was part of the Southern Wars. Who knows how many vampires he's killed."

"Gee, that sounds familiar."

"This is different from me," I insisted. "He has more scars than even I do."

"And yet, he drinks animal blood," Bella reminded. "Doesn't that make him just like you? A veteran who didn't want to kill anymore, who wants a new life?"

I sighed, and Bella knew she had won.

She smiled mischievously. "Who knows? Maybe the bronze-haired boy, Edward, will turn out to be your mate."

I scoffed at the thought. "As if." For some reason, I felt like the reason why Bella insisted on staying was because of this, but that was silly. She had to know that me falling in love with Edward would make the situation even more dangerous for her, didn't she?

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When Bella pulled into the school parking lot, the next morning, our arrival caught the attention of a certain family. They immediately began walking towards us, at a carefully human pace. Quickly, we got out of the car. I made sure to stand between Bella and the five of them. My sister may have convinced me to stay for a week, but that didn't mean I trusted the other coven.

The breeze shifted, then, blowing our scent towards the other vampires. Four of them didn't react to the change, but the fifth, Edward suddenly tensed. His eyes, which had been a light honey color only moment's ago, were now a deep, thirst black.

My posture immediately shifted to match his crouch. There was no question in my mind what had brought about his hostility. Edward Cullen wanted my sister's blood, and he wasn't going to get it.

"Don't you dare harm Bella," I told him in a low voice, putting as much compulsion in my tone as possible. The effect was immediate. His stance and expression morphed from predatory to confused, as his instincts battled with his logical mind and it's instructions from my gift.

"Bella, go inside," I ordered. She didn't exactly know what was going on, since the exchange had happened so quickly, but she knew not to question my current tone. None of us vampires moved as she walked hurriedly into the school. Once she was out of sight behind the walls, I relaxed slightly.

"Animal-drinking or not, I won't tolerate if any of you hurt my sister," I told the vampires near me. There was no doubt in my mind that, without Bella and her fragile humanity nearby, I could beat all five of them in battle. Even Jasper, the one with more scars than me.

"Of course," Alice, who up close seemed even tinier than me, said, with a significant glance at her mate, Jasper. Suddenly, I began to feel calm, almost relaxed despite what had just happened, despite my threat.

The feeling made me wonder what other gifts the coven in front of me had.

Before any of us could say anything more, the five-minute warning bell rang, signaling that class was about to start. Not wanting to be late, I quickly walked to my first class, leaving the four Cullens around their still-crouched brother.

No matter what they said, no matter how they made me feel, I wasn't going to trust any of them, especially Edward, around my sister.

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By the time lunch came around, there were only four Cullens sitting around their usual table. Edward was gone, and I was grateful for it. The special attraction he had to Bella's blood had had me in edge throughout all my earlier classes. Bella had asked me, by passing notes in Trigonometry earlier, about what had happened, but even my warnings about Edward's attraction to her blood weren't enough to make her want to leave. It seriously seemed like Bella had no survival instinct.

I resolved not to let Bella out of my sight again, not even if I needed to hunt. I could survive without blood for a week, after all, and I planned for us to be gone before then. If any one of the Cullens approached us, we would leave, I decided. I felt certain that they would try to talk to us again, since I was a new vampire on their territory.

The next few days passed torturously. Although Edward Cullen never came back, and although his 'siblings' never approached us again, I was on edge the entire time, waiting for an excuse to pull Bella and I out of Forks. My thirst grew as my eyes darkened, and my temper worsened. By Sunday, I wasn't even able to enjoy shopping with Bella in Port Angeles. It was at home after the trip, with both of us in our room presumably doing homework, that Bella said she'd had enough.

I looked at her, confused.

"You need to go hunting, Cate. Go enjoy yourself. The Cullens aren't going to do anything. Edward isn't going to come back. You are going to take a two-day hunting trip to somewhere that has plenty of predators, and you are going to enjoy every minute of it without any worries about me."

For a moment, I couldn't comprehend what she was saying. Then, I understood. She wanted me to leave her alone with a group of four vampires, and another absent one that might come back, who thirsted for her blood.

"You really have no survival instinct," was all I had to say. She growled at me, the human sound not anywhere close to a vampire's, but showing her annoyance all the same.

"Cate."

"If I'm going to go hunting, it should be a short, one-night trip. Not something that will last two days." The thought was ridiculous. Why on earth would I leave her alone for two days, with a group of thirsty vampires nearby?

"No. You're going to go to Goat Rocks Wilderness," she had searched the place up on her computer, "to hunt, because you've told me that hunting actual predators is better than hunting whatever wildlife comes along here. The Cullens aren't going to hurt me. Why would they, if they wouldn't hurt any other human at the school? They're all animal-drinkers like you. Edward, the only one with a particular incentive to hurt me, isn't coming back. Even if he was, his siblings would stop him before he could hurt me, if only because killing me in plain sight at school would be breaking the law, but probably also because they care about human lives, too. I'm not going to go wandering off with him alone, obviously, so where would the danger be?"

I had no reply.

"Exactly. So, you're going hunting."

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When we got home, I convinced Charlie to let me take a two-day 'camping' trip, with some non-existent 'friends' I had made. My gift stopped him from asking any questions about it, like if we would be bringing camping supplies, or who my friends were, or who's car we would be driving, or where we were even going. I also, after a thought, told him not to check up on the room that was Bella's and mine at night, since there was a chance I might be out and hunting in the future.

I ended up running to Port Angeles, then renting a car, because I didn't know if it would be sunny sometime in my trip.

It took about 6 hours to drive to Berry Patch, a small town nearby Goat Rocks where I could park the rented car. Once I was out of sight, and well into the forests, I started running.

I had almost forgotten how good it felt, to be running in the forests. How natural it felt to dodge trees, jump onto branches and swing from them, to leap over rivers. I hadn't been in a forest like this since Pennsylvania, maybe even before that.

The unappealing scent of a grizzly bear made me stop abruptly. As my instincts took over and I crouched down to have a little fun with it before I killed it, I couldn't help but think that Bella really was right.

I hadn't had this much fun in over a year, and this really was a nice break.

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At around 6 AM on Tuesday, I started heading back. I wanted to get back to Forks at around twelve, to make sure nothing had happened to Bella in the two days I'd been gone.

The drive back was boring, but I entertained myself with thoughts of my stories. I liked using long, uninterrupted times to think, to figure out inconsistencies, to imagine dialogue. It wasn't like I would forget any of it, since I did have a perfect memory. Almost before I knew it, I was in Port Angeles returning the car. I then ran back to Forks, and headed to the school.

The classrooms were half empty, and Bella wasn't there.

I couldn't imagine where everyone could be, but it was obvious that something had happened. I went to the front office, where Mrs. Cope sat. She looked up upon hearing the door open.

"Where's everyone?" I asked.

"Haven't you heard? There was a car crash this morning, in the school parking lot, and Bella was in the middle of it. She and Chief Swan are probably at the hospital."

I thanked her, then quickly went to the hospital. I hesitated for a moment, before entering. Nothing, not even the smell of fresh blood, was going to keep me away from my sister if she was hurt.

The hospital waiting room was full of Bella's friends and classmates, all of whom crowded around me the moment I entered. Their words were full of concern for Bella, but I brushed them aside for the moment.

"What happened?" I asked.

There was silence for a moment.

"You don't know?" one of the girls, Jessica, asked.

I shook my head. "I've been gone, the past few days. Camping."

They all nodded as if they understood.

"Well, it was in the morning-"

"-before school-"

"-the roads were icy-"

"-Tyler's van-"

"-Bella at her truck-"

"-Edward Cullen-"

The two words made me freeze. "Edward's back?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes," a vampire voice replied from behind me. Edward Cullen indeed.

I turned, glaring at him. "What do you have to do with any of this?" I asked in a low voice, too quiet and fast for humans to hear.

"I just saved your sister's life," he replied in the same tone. "Maybe you should be a bit more grateful."

I brushed past him. I needed to see Bella for myself.

"Be careful. Tyler's also in there, and he's bleeding," he said. I barely acknowledged the words. I'd just hunted, and blood wasn't going to keep me away from Bella. If I needed to, I would hold my breath.

"-doesn't hurt that bad," I heard Bella say from the closed door.

"It sounds like you were extremely lucky," another, unfamiliar, vampire voice said. Who could that be?

"My father's a doctor," Edward said, almost as if he had heard my thoughts.

I ignored him, and pushed through the door. Sure enough, a boy lay on the hospital bed near Bella, bleeding from a bunch of small cuts. I immediately turned my attention from him.

_You can do this. You can do this,_ I repeated to myself. _Focus on Bella._

My sister, luckily, seemed unharmed. "Cate," she said upon seeing me.

"What happened?" I asked, taking her hand as she wobbled for a moment.

"Not here," she replied as quietly as she could, looking at Tyler. I nodded, then led her to an empty hallway.

"Explain."

"It was morning, before school. The roads were icy, but I didn't have any trouble driving. At school, I realized why. Charlie had put snow chains on my truck's tires. I was looking at the chains when I heard a skidding sound. Tyler's blue van was coming, out of control, towards me. I didn't have time to react, but before it could hit me, Edward ran at full speed towards me, and stopped the van from hitting me. Twice."

"Why?" I asked in a voice lower than Bella could hear, to the vampire I knew was eavesdropping nearby.

He shrugged, coming into view. "I honestly don't know. All I could think, at the moment, was 'Not her'."

I looked at the two of them. Something was becoming very apparent, but I couldn't see what it was. Then, I realized.

I wouldn't have to worry about Edward hurting my sister, anymore. He couldn't hurt her any more than Jasper could hurt Alice, or Matteo could have hurt Delilah. She was his mate, and as much as I hated and feared the vampire mating bond, I was grateful for it at the moment.

Edward looked at me with horrified eyes, as if I'd said my revelation out loud. No, but I realized that, for him, it was as if I had. Because Edward Cullen was a mind-reader.

He was shaking his head, backing away. "No. I won't let it happen." But I knew that he couldn't deny the bond.

Bella watched our exchange with confused eyes. Bella. With a sinking heart, I realized something else.

From now on, Bella and I would never be as close as we had been. She would be Edward's mate, and not my sister.

It was sort of ironic, how the reason why she'd insisted on staying was because she'd dreamed of me finally finding my mate, but how she was actually the one who would end up in love with Edward Cullen.


	5. Friend or Foe

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns the Twilight saga and its universe. No profit is made here and no offense intended.**

**Chapter 5: Friend or Foe**

Edward Cullen was making himself and my sister very unhappy people.

I knew, of course, why he was choosing to ignore Bella. He didn't want to accept that he had fallen in love with a human. He wanted Bella to be able to live her full life as a human. He thought that it would be too dangerous if he was around Bella too often. There were countless reasons why he was avoiding her like she was a normal student.

But denying that they were mates was hurting both of them. Bella was confused as to why he was ignoring her. Once, she even told me that she thought he regretted saving her life. I told her that there was no way that was true, but didn't voice any of my other thoughts to her. I didn't want her to feel pressured towards liking Edward.

Of course, it was obvious that Bella was in love with Edward, by the way she sometimes spoke his name in her sleep, by the way it hurt her that he was ignoring her. But still. I didn't want to push things too much.

I could tell, from the way Edward paid special, but almost unnoticeable attention to Bella, from the way he would sometimes grimace at the attention Bella received from her human admirers (she refused to let me get rid of them, though I wouldn't even have to use compulsion to make them stop orbiting her like she was the sun and they were planets), from the way he sometimes stared at her, then looked quickly away when he realized I was watching, from the previous hints. Edward loved my sister as much as she loved him.

So why was it so hard to accept?

Part of my impatience was because Edward had prohibited any of the other Cullens from talking to Bella or to me. Of course, I still didn't trust any one of the other vampires, especially given that they were all mated, but I wanted to set some ground rules for us. A treaty, of sorts. Edward was keeping that from happening.

I was also curious about their stories. How could a coven as large as theirs stay together, if all mated vampires cared about was their mates? How had they all turned to an animal diet? Why did Jasper have so many scars? What were their other gifts? How on earth did the leader of the coven, Carlisle Cullen, manage to be a doctor? Why were they all in high school?

In the month following the car accident, nothing happened, in terms of us and the Cullens, until Edward's jealousy got the better of him.

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"Um, Kath- Katherine?"

I had already expected this conversation to occur, many times over, but I was grumpy the day before my next hunt, with my eyes deep black already, and I didn't have the patience to deal with it.

"What?" I asked with a slight growl in my voice, to the boy who was already starting to regret his approaching me. "Is there something you needed?"

"Act- actually, it's no- nothing," he stuttered, before almost running away.

I hoped the others who would inevitably ask me to the girl's choice spring dance would be a bit braver than him. Maybe, if I were in a better mood, I could actually play with them a bit before telling them no. Of course, I wouldn't be going to the dance. The idea of so many warm bodies in one room, coupled with the fact that there was no one I wanted to go with, as well as that I knew Bella wouldn't want to go either, meant that there was no chance of me going. So I might as well just scare away everyone who tried to ask me.

I wondered if the Cullens had to deal with as many requests as I would. Probably not, since so many of them were obviously together. I could just imagine the response that any of the four in high school would have if their mates were asked to the spring dance.

Which, of course, made me think of Bella and Edward. What would he do when Mike Newton, or Eric Yorkie, or Tyler Crowley, inevitably asked my sister to the dance? Would he finally start acknowledging that she existed? It seemed impossible, but would Bella accept one of the invitations?

I felt kind of bad for seeing my sister's love life as a movie to watch, but it was happening, and I was curious.

Lunch came around, and with it, an added five proposals to the five proposals from other boys in my earlier classes. Honestly, some of the boys I had only barely recognized, and others I was pretty sure didn't share any of my classes.

Then was biology, the only class where I didn't sit next to my sister - in all the other classes, the teachers had either assumed that we would want to sit together, or had had only a pair of desks empty that we had occupied, but in the two days I'd been gone hunting, though, Edward had for some reason gotten Mr. Banner, the Biology teacher, to arrange the seats so he would sit next to Bella. Apparently, he had talked to her the first day he'd been back, asking her questions about why we had come to Forks, while they had done the lab.

There was now a frosty wall of silence that separated the two lab partners.

Mike, who had taken to walking my sister to class (and ignoring me as I trailed behind the two of them, despite Bella's attempts to include me in their conversations), hesitated at Bella's desk. I smiled, carefully pretending not to watch the exchange, in an act that was probably convincing to everyone except the two who mattered.

Edward was glaring daggers into the corner of the wall he was staring as he listened to Mike's attempt to ask Bella to the dance. Of course, she said no, making up an excuse of going to Seattle that day. Since she hadn't asked me beforehand, I would get to pick what we would do, and I knew Bella would hate the day of shopping I had planned. I didn't specifically chose shopping because it was something she disliked, of course, but, well, what was the point of having a sister if you didn't annoy her at times?

As Mr. Banner started class, I started thinking about the stores we would go to. We'd never been to Seattle before; I would have to do some research on the malls there. I thought of Bella and Edward again, and my senses, the ones for which use of was less visible, automatically reported what was going on where they sat.

It was strangely silent in the middle of the room where Bella and Edward sat, almost as if neither of them were breathing. Curious, I turned my head to look at them. Edward was staring at Bella with his dark gold eyes, not turning away like he normally did, even though she was staring back at him. Bella truly wasn't breathing, though the hand that was on the table was shaking, almost vibrating.

"Mr. Cullen?" the teacher asked, pulling Edward's gaze away from my sister.

"The Krebs Cycle," he replied, probably reading the answer from Mr. Banner's mind. I doubted that any of us had been paying attention to the lecture.

After class, I listened as Edward finally spoke to Bella, for the first time in weeks. Bella was understandably angry, especially with Edward's cryptic phrases. She still hadn't realized, or maybe just couldn't believe that the vampire loved her as his mate. I got a few confused looks from other students as they passed me waiting outside the Biology door, but the few who actually knew me recognized that I was waiting for my sister.

In Gym, we were playing basketball. Bella tried to talk to me, making her usually bad playing even worse, but I didn't answer any of her prompts about Edward finally talking to her, or her questions about what he had meant. I didn't want to intrude on the soap opera that was being created. It was much too fun to watch.

Finally, muttering about how she couldn't trust anyone, Bella left me alone, and started focusing on basketball. Everyone knew by now not to pass to my sister, but I still tried to include her in the game, using my vampiric athletic ability to keep her from hitting others with the ball or tripping on her own feet too many times. She didn't thank me, still angry that I wouldn't tell her what I thought of the situation.

After school, I saw Eric Yorkie starting to approach Bella. From his hesitant expression, I realized that he'd heard what had happened with Mike, but was hoping that she had been waiting for him to ask her. I noticed that Edward was also, not so coincidentally, nearby.

I purposely lagged behind my sister, allowing Eric to talk to her 'alone'. Unluckily, though, someone else caught up with me, a boy I vaguely recognized from Trigonometry.

"Not now," I snapped, but he was braver than the others, persisting even when I told him I wasn't interested.

"Katherine, I know you turned down the other eight, but don't you worry. It's not too late. I'll still be your date."

Great. A poet.

"First, it was ten," I told him. "And, second, no. I'm not interested. Plus, isn't it supposed to be girl's choice? Forget it, that was obviously rhetorical."

Annoyed, I turned my attention back to Eric and Bella. Ugh. Eric was already walking away, his head down. Bella had obviously rejected him, but I hadn't gotten to listen!

"Kat-"

"Leave!" I growled at him, and finally, his instincts did what they were supposed to. He backed away quickly, almost tripping over his feet in his haste.

I quickly joined Bella, making sure there were no other boys to tail me and ask me to the dance. Bella seemed in a hurry as well, quickly starting the truck and backing out of our spot, only to be stopped by a certain silver sedan.

"Cullen," Bella growled besides me, though the sound, like usual, sounded nowhere near as threatening as it did coming from me.

I smiled once I realized the driver behind us. Edward certainly wasn't going to miss the show, either, was he?

I listened humorously as Bella rejected Tyler's offer to the dance, watched as Edward's shoulders shook in the car ahead of us while he drove away, and laughed as my sister complained about Volvo owners, prom invitations, and dances.

It wasn't a coincidence, I thought, that Edward had chosen today to talk to Bella, was it?

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At home, during 'dinner', we told Charlie about going to Seattle the Saturday of the dance, and that we would be going shopping. Or, I told him that, while grinning evilly at Bella, who only groaned in response. We'd come up with a rule that, whenever we told a lie that would require the other's help, we wouldn't question it in front of others as long as the one who hadn't told the lie got to chose what we would do instead. I had always chosen shopping, and, as revenge, Bella had chosen cooking or baking, or staying at home.

That night, I crept out of my room and fed on a few small creatures nearby, just to make my throat burn less. I felt infinitesimally better, and even more excited at the idea of our shopping trip to Seattle. When I came back to the room, Bella was sleeping, but I faintly smelled another vampire. Strange, I thought. Had someone been in our room? But no. The window was open, and the scent was coming from outside, on a tree branch outside our room.

Had Edward Cullen been watching my sister as she slept?

The next day, when Bella got out the truck, Edward was there. As much as I wanted to stay and listen to their conversation, or talk to Edward about him watching outside our window, the glare Edward was shooting me made it clear that I wasn't to even eavesdrop.

A different Cullen approached me as I grumpily walked to my first class. It seemed like, now that Edward was talking to Bella again, the barrier that had kept us and the Cullens apart had vanished.

The vampire who approached me was Alice. Strangely, she acted like we already were best friends.

"Hi Cate!" she said cheerfully. I noticed how casually she used my nickname, the one no one but Bella knew me as. "I heard that you're going to Seattle a week from Saturday, to shop, and I was wondering if I could tag along!"

It took me a moment to react. "Why?"

"Well, I like shopping too, and Bella's not going to be there. Edward's going to take her somewhere else."

"Did he say that?" I asked. Was that what he was asking Bella about now?

She shrugged. "He's going to."

I puzzled for a moment at her strange choice of words, then slowly nodded.

Alice jumped into the air in response, then launched herself at me. At first, I braced myself for an attack, but then, I realized she was hugging me. My body almost didn't know how to respond - the last time I'd hugged someone, or someone had hugged me, was when I was human. I vaguely remembered, though, that most people only hugged those they cared about. Alice and I didn't even really know each other yet. Maybe Alice was just one of those people who hugged everyone she met, or acted friendly to everyone she could.

Or maybe, I was just reading too much into this.

"Thanks, Cate!" she exclaimed, before heading off to her first class.

The next few classes almost flew by, as I tried to figure out the Cullens' strange behavior, and as I passed notes to Bella asking her what Edward had said. Of course, she told me she would answer once I answered her questions from yesterday, which I wasn't going to tell her at least until she actually started dating Edward, so I had to remain curious.

Maybe Alice would tell me.

At lunch, the Cullen table had an empty seat. Edward was sitting alone, away from the rest of his coven, and wanted Bella to sit with him. Of course, she went.

I couldn't eavesdrop on what they were saying, though, because the other Cullens requested that I join them at their table. Was this going to be the meeting I had been waiting for?

Cautiously, I sat down in Edward's seat. Alice greeted me cheerfully again, but the others didn't say anything. Jasper was watching me the same way I was watching them. We both knew that there was almost no chance of a fight actually happening, since we were in public, but it was just instinct around an unfamiliar vampire. Emmett was watching me with a friendly smile, and Rosalie was completely ignoring me, glaring at Edward and Bella where they sat, instead.

We talked for a bit about ground rules and such. No hunting humans was obvious, and kind of unnecessary, since we all were animal-drinkers, but having that out there still made me a bit more comfortable regarding Bella, especially with the glare Rosalie was shooting her. There was also a treaty the Cullens had made, when they'd last lived in the area, with the werewolves (I didn't even know those existed!) of the Quileute tribe by the coast. No vampires were allowed to cross a boundary line, and no werewolves a certain area that was the Cullens'; no one was allowed to reveal the other's secret; and no Cullens were allowed to hunt humans.

Finally, there was a pause. I really wanted to ask them what other gifts they had, but hesitated, since they probably wouldn't answer. I opened my mouth to ask, but before I could say anything, Alice replied to the question I hadn't even asked.

"You know that Edward can read minds. I can see the future, and Jasper can read and manipulate emotions."

"Alice!" Rosalie hissed, probably as surprised as I was that she had just given up their secrets.

"We're going to be great friends. I can see it. There's no danger. She's going to tell us about her gift, too, now that I've told ours."

She was right, too. It felt like a mutual exchange of trust. They told me their supernatural gifts, and I told them mine.

"I can compulse people to do things with my voice," I said. "I can make them believe things I want them to, but I can only control their logical minds, not their instincts or their emotions. It's useful, at times, when I need to lie."

I didn't mention how it had been useful in my other life. I didn't want to talk about that, now.

Jasper looked at me again, probably responding to the guilt and sadness I felt when thinking about my past. I realized that, if I was to think about my past, Edward would be able to hear it, and Jasper to feel it. That was a strange idea. I'd never been around so many gifted vampires before.

The cafeteria started to empty. Lunch was over.

"Oh, Cate," Alice called. "You might want to ditch class today. They're blood-typing in Biology."

Of course. Vampires + fresh blood = disaster. I thought about ditching the rest of the day, too. I didn't feel like going to Gym, but what else was there to do?

Bella and Edward finally finished their conversation, and Bella went to class. Edward, of course, was ditching as well.

"Cate," he said. Why was everyone using my hybrid-name now? I guessed that they'd gotten it from Bella. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure," I replied. There didn't seem to be anything better to do. We headed outside, to his car. I paused for a moment. Was it really a good idea to be heading into a small enclosed space with a vampire I didn't really know well? Of course, it wasn't like he could hurt me, and it probably wasn't the best idea to be standing out in the open while we were supposed to be in class, so… I got in passenger side.

We were both silent for a minute. I thought he'd said he'd wanted to talk to me. Finally, he spoke, looking out the window.

"Were you really planning on turning Bella into a vampire?"

I was startled at the question. Had he been talking to Bella about that? "Yes," I replied anyway. "It's what she wants, and it's safer, since humans aren't supposed to know about us."

"How many people have you killed?"

My eyes widened. Why had he asked that? My mind suddenly remembered every death, every battle, every feeding. Too many. Too many to count. More than I wanted to remember.

"How many have you?" was my answer.

"Nine hundred and thirty-seven. How many do you think Bella would kill?"

None, if I could help it, but I knew that was probably impossible. She would slip up, she would end up murdering someone.

"Exactly. Would you condemn her to that, if she could stay human? Would you take away her soul like that?"

I looked at him. Did he really think that souls existed?

"I think that humans have souls, but that when we become vampires, we lose them. I think there's only one possible afterlife for our kind."

I'm atheist, I thought. I don't believe in souls, or afterlives, or higher powers. But why was he asking me that? Why was he saying these things?

Then, I understood. Those beliefs were the reason why he didn't want Bella to become a vampire, the reason why he had ignored her for a month, the reason why he was resisting the bond that was already being created between them.

"Yes," he replied to my thoughts.

"It's what she wants," I responded. Bella wanted to become a vampire, and I wouldn't take that choice away from her, just like I wouldn't take anyone else's choice away from them. I knew very well that choices mattered.

Suddenly, Edward turned his head, looking back at the school. Mike Newton was lowering Bella's limp body onto the sidewalk. What on earth had happened?

I quickly got out of the car, mirroring Edward's actions. I let him lead, though, and I watched his face as he yelled Bella's name, and hurried to where she lay.

How could he deny the fact that he loved her?

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I ended up skipping the rest of the day, as well, when Edward got Bella out of Gym with the excuse of her fainting. The two of them got in Edward's Volvo, while I drove the truck back home. I hadn't wanted to leave Bella alone in a car with Edward, but I knew that what the two of them wanted most was some alone time, even if they wouldn't admit it. Plus, it could be good practice for when Edward drove Bella, alone, somewhere else on the day of the dance.

As I drove home alone, more slowly than I thought tolerable, I thought about what Edward had said. I didn't think souls existed - recent scientific developments showed that there was no space in the human body for a soul, and what would a soul's biological purpose be? But if what Edward thought was true, that vampires did lose their souls, then I knew I was more deserving of it than most. He may have killed hundreds, but I had killed many times more, both vampires and humans. I had killed entire armies in a few minutes during the battles. When I had done well, sometimes Delilah had even let me feed on humans three times in one day, as a reward. My vampire mind quickly calculated my death count. Armies of about fifteen newborns, plus an average of two permanent vampires, at a rate of about once a month, over the course of seven years, plus a miscellaneous fifty of our own newborns and Giovanna, added up to about 1,480 vampires. The longest I'd ever gone without feeding, before, was three days, so that was an average of about one human killed per day, or around 2,560 humans. Plus the 13 I'd accidentally killed while trying for an animal diet.

Yes, I'd killed many more vampires and humans than Edward. 4,503, approximately, or about 4.17 times the number Edward had killed.

Was I willing to let Bella kill, accidentally of course, as well? Because I could see no way her record would be clean.

But, deep down, I knew it was her choice. I wasn't going to force her to stay human and, inevitably, die. I wasn't going to force her to age while the love of her life remained young forever.

And, no matter how many she killed, it would be nowhere near my death count. Nowhere near the death count of most vampires in the world, in the South and otherwise.

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The next few days passed in a blur. On Saturday, Bella went with a group of her school friends to First Beach, on the Quileute reservation. Of course, I wasn't allowed there, and I had had half a mind to tell her not to go, either, but in the end, I relented. There wouldn't be any danger, since Alice had told me that, upon first arriving, they had scouted the area, but hadn't found any trace of werewolves, and since no vampires were allowed in the area. Plus, I wouldn't force her to only have me (and maybe the Cullens) as a friend. Human experiences, the very reason why we'd moved to Forks in the first place, were important.

The week before the dance, Bella planned on going to Port Angeles for dress shopping for the dance. Normally, I would have jumped at the chance to go shopping, but I now absolutely hated two of the girls who were supposed to go, Lauren and Jessica. Their two-faced attitudes towards everyone they were 'friends' with, and their shallow natures made me want nothing to do with them. Absolutely nothing. Bella, of course, felt obligated to join them, but I quickly had excused myself from the trip. Not that any of them had wanted me to come in the first place.

I would have been concerned for Bella, because she was the kind of person who attracted danger like a magnet, but I knew that, regardless where she went, Edward would be there. He'd progressed past watching my sister sleep outside our window, to actually coming into our room and sitting on the rocking chair. I was, conveniently for him, not in the room at night anymore, but I could always smell his scent lingering long after he was gone. It was kind of romantic, actually. I'd promised Edward not to tell Bella, but sometimes, I got the feeling she knew anyway.

I knew that Edward would follow my sister to Port Angeles, and that she couldn't possibly be in danger from outside forces with him there.

When Bella came home, that night, she came home in Edward's car, her cheeks flushed red, and a smile on her face. I didn't ask any questions, but I got from her sleep talking that he'd taken her out to a restaurant. La Bella Italiana.

Bella spent more and more time with Edward as the week went by. He drove her to and from school each day, sat with her at lunch, escorted her between classes, talking to her in the car long after they were parked on the driveway at home, talking until Charlie came home, which was when he left.

The day of the dance finally came, and with it, my shopping trip with Alice. I'd 'eaten' lunch with the Cullen's ever since the first day, when we told each other our gifts, and I was getting to know each of the Cullens' natures. Alice was easily excited and loved shopping. Emmett was the joker who played practical jokes and was more like a teddy bear than his appearance implied. Rosalie was sarcastic and stubborn and vivacious. Jasper was a fighter - it turned out, he was the mysterious second of the Monterrey Coven, the one who'd deserted before my time, and a strategist, but, as it turned out, he was also a gambler. Not that it was smart for any of them to bet against Alice.

On Saturday morning, long before Bella was awake, a black Mercedes pulled up in the driveway. Alice was here. To my surprise, Jasper was also there, sitting in the driver's seat, almost as if he was there to protect someone. At first, I couldn't figure out why. Was there a danger that we would meet nomads in Seattle? Didn't he think Alice and I could protect ourselves? As Alice talked on and on, though, I realized why he was there. It was for protection, but not from outside forces. He was there to protect Alice from me.

All of a sudden, I remembered why I had been so cautious towards the Cullens at first, why I still needed to be cautious. All of them were mated, and I knew all to well what vampires would do for their mates.

I couldn't ever accept the Cullens as my family, because they would never feel the same bond to me that I could to them. They could not be my friends, because all too quickly, they could turn into foes.


	6. Singing in the Rain

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns the Twilight saga and its universe. No profit is made here and no offense intended.**

**Chapter 6: Singing in the Rain**

We spent nearly the whole day shopping, going from store to store. Alice knew the mall well, having been there many times before, and knew exactly where to go. Her love for shopping seemed to be even stronger than mine; I never would have shopped for eight hours straight. By the end of it, I was getting tired, even though a vampire technically could never get tired. Jasper manfully and patiently followed us through it all, and carried the endless bags into the car. The trunk almost wasn't big enough to fit all the clothes she'd bought. They weren't all for her, of course. A large portion were mine, and Bella's, which she'd insisted on paying for, herself.

The only time Alice had stopped was when her eyes had clouded over, seeing into the future, and she had squealed with excitement. Something had happened with Bella and Edward's trip, but she refused to tell me what.

I couldn't wait to go home and ask Bella about it.

The black Mercedes, Carlisle's, apparently, pulled up in the driveway besides the silver Volvo that was Edward's. Bella and Edward were already inside. I waved as Alice and Jasper drove away, then headed towards the house. I heard the roar of another car coming, and assumed it was Charlie, until I realized that it was two cars. In the driver's seat of the first car sat a Native American-looking boy, younger than Bella by a few years; on the passenger's side was a middle-aged man who looked like the boy's father. I didn't recognize either of them. Edward came to join me by the door, with Bella just behind him.

"Who is it?" I asked them.

Edward responded. "The Blacks." Bella gasped, but it took a moment for me to place the name. Of course! Ephraim Black, the werewolf pack leader from the last time the Cullens lived in the area. Were these two descended from him?

Edward nodded at my unspoken question.

Would they recognize us? Did they believe their legends about vampires?

My thoughts interrupted by one of the occupants of the first car. "Hey, Bella," he said.

"Jacob?" she replied, squinting in the dark for some reason. Right, I realized. She couldn't see as well in the dark as I could.

Charlie's police car pulled up behind them, the headlights shining on the two so that Bella could see better.

"It's Jacob Black, and his father, Billy Black," she told me, before stepping forward to greet them.

Do they know? I wondered. Edward nodded again, but his response was not needed. One look in the older man's frightened eyes, as he took in my pale skin and supernatural beauty, told me the answer. Yes, he, at least, did.

"He wants to talk to the two of us. Alone," Edward whispered. There could only be one reason why he was telling me that, and not doing anything about it. He wanted me to use my compulsion. His steady gaze confirmed that.

"Hey, Charlie. Could you and Jacob go inside for a moment?" I called to the two of them, purposely leaving Bella the choice if she wanted to stay or not. Of course, she stayed.

Billy Black looked at her in surprise. "How much does she know?" he asked.

Bella looked annoyed at being referred to in third person. "I know everything, Billy," she answered.

Billy nodded. "And?" he asked, looking at me.

"She follows the same rules, and receives the same rights, as outlined by the treaty," Edward said, almost daring Billy to argue.

"Of course," Billy agreed, nodding again. He stayed silent, as if he were waiting for us to say something.

What does he want? I thought to Edward.

He spoke at vampire speed to reply. "He's wondering why Charlie and Jacob went inside without asking any questions. I suggest you tell him to forget it."

I opened my mouth to speak, then hesitated. Memories flooded into my head, memories from my past. There was a man who looked just like Billy, with the same ancient eyes and the same creased face. What had happened to him? He had been in one of he opposing armies. I had controlled him, then killed him, of course. We couldn't risk him spreading rumors of me to others.

Now, I was supposed to compulse this other man, this man who had seen to much. Sure, I wasn't going to kill him afterward, but wasn't it the same idea? Wasn't I taking away his free will? Hadn't I vowed not to do so, when I had first left Delilah? But once I had started living with humans, how many times had I used my gift to stop them from asking uncomfortable questions? How many times had it been necessary, and how many times merely convenient?

"Billy, don't ask any questions about what you saw with Charlie and Jacob, and don't bring it up to anyone," I barely choked out. Necessary or convenient? A voice inside my head kept repeating the question. Necessary or convenient?

Everyone was looking at me strangely, and I realized that they'd already moved to go inside. Suddenly, I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand to go back in the house and pretend to be human near three of the people I'd most recently controlled, a girl who I couldn't control, and her boyfriend who could read every thought that passed through my mind.

I ran.

I didn't know what direction I was going in. I must have I must have traveled at least sixty miles, but a lot of it was swimming through a large body of water. Before I knew it, though, I was in a large city, much larger than Port Angeles, or even Seattle. A quick glance of some tourist shops told me where I was: Victoria, British Columbia.

I wandered aimlessly around, not paying attention to any of the humans who clustered inside stores or under overhangs (it was raining, a good excuse for my wet clothes - not that I cared about blending in with the humans here).

Someone tapped me on the shoulder, and I turned. "Hey, little girl," a kind-faced man said. "Are you lost? Where are your parents?" He obviously had mistaken my short height for youth.

"Leave me alone," I said in a low voice, half-growling, and he slowly backed away. I didn't even have to use compulsion to achieve the effect.

The cell phone in my pocket rang, but I ignored it. I didn't want to talk to Bella, who was inevitably on the other side, right now.

I walked some more, and found myself at the edge of a small alleyway. A group of teenage boys stood in a half-circle around a trapped other boy. Gang activity, I thought. Normally, I would have broken up the confrontation, convinced the group not to harm the boy, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Other thoughts drowned out the compassion.

Then the breeze shifted, blowing their scents towards me, including the sweetest scent of human blood I'd smelled in my entire existence. My throat, which had been at a low throb before, suddenly flared up. I knew that, if I looked into a mirror, my eyes would now be pitch black.

Automatically, my body lowered into a crouch. A low growl rumbled through my throat, at the boys who were standing between me and my prey, the trapped boy I'd tried to feel sorry for. He would have much greater problems than a group of boys, with the way his scent pulled to me.

Stop! A voice cried in my head. Don't hunt him! Don't you remember why you don't kill anymore? Get out of here!

I almost followed it. I would have followed it, if it were not for the punch. The gang had started attacking the boy, my prey, punching him, drawing blood.

I pounced.

The other boys didn't matter to me. Their weak scents, their pounding heartbeats, couldn't distract me from the loveliest taste I'd ever drunk. I tried to slow myself down, to savor the taste, but there was no way I could. Too soon, the blood ran out. He was drained dry.

No. I had drained him dry.

I realized that the other boys were staring at me in fright. What had I done?

Cover it up! A voice told me. Hide what you've done!

No! Another part of me argued. I shouldn't control anyone!

Would you rather kill them? The first voice argued. You've no choice! They saw what happened! Make them forget! You have to either kill them, or compulse them, and better alive and controlled than dead. This isn't the same situation!

There was another option, I knew, of course. I could let them spread the truth, then let the Volturi come for me. Maybe that would be the better option. Despite my best attempts, I was still a monster. I had just killed an innocent boy! I had felt threatened by the Cullens, had been scared by Edward's attraction to Bella's blood, but I was even worse than him. I had attacked without even a second thought. Maybe it would be better for everyone if I died.

No! The voice said. You can't give yourself up! The Volturi punishes the entire coven, so you would put the Cullens in danger! You would put Bella in danger - she's not supposed to know about vampires!

Some of the boys were starting to back away. If I didn't act now, they would be gone, and I truly would be exposed. I had to do something, and fast.

"Wait," my voice rang out. I almost didn't sound like myself. All of those in the alleyway froze.

"You never saw me," I began. "You never saw anything suspicious. You accidentally killed the boy. Burn the body. Don't tell anyone else what happened."

I got up and started walking away, before I realized they were all still frozen. I had forgotten to let them move again.

"You can move now," I said, then hesitated. There was something I needed to know, but the knowledge would only hurt me. Let it, I thought fiercely. I had killed someone. Nothing that I felt could compare to what I had done to him.

"What was his name?" I asked.

One of the smaller boys responded. "He was Justin Smith."

Justin Smith. He wasn't just 'the boy'. He was a person with a life and a family and people who loved him.

I won't forget you, Justin Smith, I thought as I left the alleyway.

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I didn't know where to go. I couldn't return to Bella, to the Cullens, to Forks. How would I be able to deal with the shame, the disappointment? I'd broken their treaty with the werewolves, too, and my throat now burned more than it had since I'd left Delilah. I didn't trust myself around humans. What if I hurt one of them? What if I hurt Bella?

I resolved to stay in Canada. Maybe I could go further north, to the upper provinces. They had less people, so it would be easier for me to avoid humans.

I looked down at my clothes. They had only been wet before, but now, they were stained with blood, too. Justin's blood. It was night, too, close to the witching hour, and there was almost no one around. Maybe I could sneak into a store while it was closed and steal some clothes. I couldn't buy clothes, not only because of my ragged appearance and the distrust of myself around humans, but also because of my eyes. I knew that now, they would be a frightening, dangerous, bright red.

The eyes of a killer.

I held my breath the entire time, as I waited. I didn't want to tempt the monster within me.

The dark was penetrated by the bright headlights of a car, a black Mercedes. At first, I ignored it, until I realized who was inside: one of the Cullens. Alice must have seen my future, and decided to interfere.

The driver door opened, and I growled without looking at who was there. It had to be Alice.

"Go away, Alice," I said. She didn't move, and didn't say anything.

I turned and saw that it was Jasper, holding a bag.

"I said, go away."

He didn't go, only held out the bag to me.

"Alice said that you'd need new clothes."

It was more convenient than stealing clothes, so I took the bag. Jasper turned away, and I changed.

"Thanks," I said. There was a silence, as I waited for him to leave, and as he waited for me to speak.

Finally, I broke. "What do you want me to say?" I asked.

"I want you to agree to come back," Jasper stated. Immediately, I shook my head.

"That's impossible."

"Why do you want to leave, Cate?" he asked.

I was incredulous. "Look at my eyes! I killed someone! Justin Smith's dead now, because of me!"

"And will going away solve anything? Will it bring Justin Smith back from the dead? Will it change the fact that you killed him?"

I had no answer to that.

"Let's talk about other reasons," he suggested. "Your sister? Our family?"

"Yes, there's that," I replied. "How can I trust myself around Bella, knowing I killed someone only hours ago? Knowing that my eyes are still bright red, that my throat..."

The thought of it made my throat flared up again, and I winced at the feeling.

"You wouldn't have to see Bella immediately, if you came back," Jasper reasoned. "And wouldn't it be safer if you were to get used to her scent, or humans' scents, with us around? We could stop you if you were any danger."

I seriously doubted it. I didn't believe any of them could stand against my gift. The real question would be if I could stop myself from using my gift, or control myself enough to let them pull me away.

"You're acting perfectly fine now, too, even though there are many humans in that apartment complex over there."

That was true; in my conversation with Jasper, I had started to breathe again on instinct, and I had barely noticed the scents of other humans. Maybe things could be all right. Maybe I could control myself.

That's what you thought right before you killed those other humans, another part of my brain reminded me. It was right. Before I'd slipped up, when I'd been training myself to deal with human scents, I had thought that, maybe, I could control myself. I'd learned each time that I couldn't.

My control was never as good as I thought it was.

But, after all, Alice could see the future. Maybe she could warn me if I was going to attack someone.

Why hadn't she warned me this time? Of course. I remembered the ringing cell phone I'd ignored. That hadn't been Bella; that must have been Alice, calling to warn me. And I'd ignored it.

"Think about how Bella would feel if you suddenly left. You're her sister."

I thought about it, then decided she would get over it. She had Edward now, and I knew very well that mate bonds overpowered all other bonds.

"She has all of you, now," I replied. "She'll get over it."

"You'd leave a gap in her life. In all of our lives."

I knew that wasn't true. I could hear Delilah's words echoing in my head. _When he is alive, all that matters is him. When he is dead, the only thing keeping you alive is revenge. Nothing else, no one else, matters_. They all had mates, they couldn't bond with me or with each other in any way that mattered.

"Right now, what you thought," Jasper said suddenly. "What was it?"

"Why do you want to know?" I questioned.

"Because that thought, and the feelings of nostalgia and guilt that come with it, are always what you feel before you pull away, before you reject our attempts at getting closer to you."

Nostalgia? Did I really want my old life back, when I thought about Delilah? No, I realized, what I wanted back was my ignorance about vampire nature, my belief that Delilah did care about me. And guilt. That had to be guilt from all the lives I'd took, and guilt that I would want that life and that ignorance back.

"There's a story behind this," Jasper guessed.

I nodded. He was correct. But should I tell him? Was it time for Jasper, for the Cullens to know about my past? The whole, full truth?

Maybe if I told him, he would stop pretending he cared. Maybe if I told him, he would let me go away.

"You know that I was in the Wars," I began. "I was transformed in 1987, on my fifteenth birthday..."

I told him everything, about the battles, about Delilah and Giovanna, about running away, about deciding never to kill again. I'd broken that vow fourteen times now.

When I finished, we were both silent. Finally, Jasper spoke.

"Why do you refuse to believe we care about you and about each other, like a family? Is it because you truly don't believe vampires can do so, or because you're afraid of being betrayed again?"

His words sent a shockwave through me. Why was I so hesitant? They wouldn't or couldn't be dangerous to myself or to Bella. I believed that any sign of family love between them would be a lie, but did that matter? I lived a life of lies, anyway. They knew truths about me, truths I couldn't tell any humans.

And, if they truly didn't care about me, why would they have sent Jasper? Why wouldn't they have just let me go? I couldn't think of one good reason why, other than the impossible, that what they said about them being a family was true. Maybe their bonds, their living and traveling together, wasn't out of convenience or revenge or mutual lies, like what I'd know with Delilah. Maybe they really did love each other.

"Stay a week," Jasper said softly, one hand outstretched towards me, and the other on the car door. "If you're still determined to leave by then, we'll let you. We won't stop you. But don't just leave without giving us a chance."

I nodded slowly, and took his head. One week. I could do one week.

As we drove back out of Victoria, I could faintly hear someone singing. It was one of the humans I hadn't been tempted to kill, singing in the rain.


	7. Twisted Truth

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns the Twilight saga and its universe. No profit is made here and no offense intended.**

**Chapter 7: Twisted Truth**

It took much longer to drive back to Forks than it had for me to get to Victoria. Part of the reason why was that we couldn't take the direct route, because we were driving in a car, which meant we had to go on actual roads, and part of it was because Jasper was using the time to tell me his story, and the stories of the other Cullen family members. It was interesting, learning about the legendary leader of the coven I'd spent the first seven years of my vampire life trying to kill, about Carlisle's past, about how each member of the family had joined until they were seven members strong. It also made me feel better, to hear about how Jasper, too, had struggles, and continued to struggle, with the vegetarian (I liked the name they used for our animal diet - it was pretty ironic and fitting, at the same time) diet. I'd never learned so much about other vampires before.

What interested me the most was Jasper's stories of the Volturi. Carlisle had actually met the equivalent of vampire royalty, and had stayed with them for many decades. I was shocked to hear that the stories Delilah had told about the Witch Twins, Alec and Jane, were true. She really could burn you where you stood, and he really could cut off all your senses. Of course, I wasn't too surprised - I knew very well how much gifted vampires could be valued.

Much to my dismay, I was the youngest of all the Cullens, in terms of physical age and vampire age, a mere 15 and 33 compared to the decades and centuries they'd all been alive. Of course, all of that was insignificant in comparison the ages of the ancients, which numbered in the thousands.

I wondered what it would be like, one or two thousand years into the future. Would humans and vampires still exist? On Earth? Would I still be alive? Would vampires still be a secret?

Forever really was a long time, now that I thought about it.

It was early morning by the time we got back to Forks, a Sunday. At first, I was surprised when Jasper drove straight by my house, before I remembered. If I wanted to stay away from humans until I was sure of my control, I obviously couldn't live in the same house as any.

We went to the Cullens' house.

It was absolutely gigantic and beautiful and amazing. I loved the design, which Jasper said Esme had done, immediately. She really had an eye for that kind of thing. Alice skipped out and hugged me like nothing was wrong, like I hadn't been contemplating leaving them, like my eyes weren't a creepy, bright crimson. Then she dropped the bombshell.

Bella was coming to the Cullens' house in three hours.

Did she have to pick today?

"I'm not staying," I said immediately, prompting a sigh from Alice.

"You won't hurt her," she pouted. "We won't be able to change your mind, though."

That was for a very good reason, I thought. Even if she didn't see me attacking Bella, it was too risky. The future could change.

"I guess I'll go hunting," I said, when no one said anything. I wasn't especially thirsty, given that I'd just fed on a human, but I wanted to get the red out of my eyes as soon as possible.

"I'll come with you," a voice said. I looked in surprise at Rosalie. She'd never expressed much interest in talking to me before.

"Why?" I asked. She simply shrugged in reply. I got the feeling that the answer wasn't that she wanted to get to know me better.

«««««« νηγραμ ετ αλβαμ ιν λυμεν βυλτας »»»»»»

Three hours later, Rosalie and I were in the forest surrounding the Cullen property. Neither of us spoke while we took down a mountain lion and a couple of elk, each. I watched the other vampire once I was finished. I didn't know much about her; Jasper had only told me that her human life had ended violently, before Carlisle had saved her by transforming her into a vampire.

She met my eyes once she noticed my staring, and we stood there for a few moments until she broke the silence.

"You know, you're not as bad as I thought you were."

"Thanks?" I asked.

After a pause, she spoke again. "I never really hated you, specifically. Certainly, your sister, but not you."

"Why?" I asked. There had to be some reason to her telling me this.

"She's human. You're planning to change her, something she wants right now, but might not want in the future. She has everything now, but she's just going to throw that away."

Seeing my confused expression, her face softened. "How much about my past have they told you?"

"Not much," I replied, and she dove into her story.

At the end, I understood. Rosalie wanted nothing more than to be human. Bella was going to be changed into a vampire, wanted to be changed into a vampire, and that was a choice Rose couldn't forgive Bella for making. I was the one who had introduced Bella to the vampire world, who planned on changing her, so Rosalie disliked me by extension.

"I guess I'm going to have to get used to you, though," Rose said thoughtfully, "since you're part of our family now. Your gift could be helpful if we mess up somehow, to cover it up."

I froze, just as I heard the sound of another vampire racing towards us. "Rose! No!" I could faintly here Alice call from the distance. It was too late, though. She was too late. Rosalie had already spoken, and her words made me realize something.

My gift. That was the real reason why the Cullens wanted to keep me around.

That might be the reason why their coven was so large, too. Seven members, all who coexisted together? The only coven larger than that would be the Volturi, and they were united by ambition. Couldn't that be the same reason why the Cullens could coexist? How hadn't I seen this before?

There were three gifted members, one of whom had experience in the Southern Wars. I would be a fourth, and similarly useful. The others were probably disposable, like the outer layers of the Volturi. Was the real leader of the coven Carlisle, or someone gifted, like Edward? Was it a trio of Edward, Alice, and Jasper? Maybe Carlisle was the decoy leader, maybe that was why he was kept. Emmett's unusual size and strength probably was what kept him part of the coven.

Everything had been planned by the Cullens, I could see it so clearly now. Edward befriending Bella while I'd been gone. Alice could have seen that I would go hunting those days, and could have sent Edward to school to take advantage of my absence. Tyler's car nearly crashing into Bella. How else could Edward have reacted so quickly? Maybe they'd staged the accident, had Jasper make Tyler panic, so he would lose control of the car. Or maybe one of them had pushed the car so it would hit the ice wrong, so it would nearly hit Bella. Alice giving away their secrets was probably staged so they wouldn't have to hide that they knew my gift. Billy Black arriving, and forcing me to use my gift until it was too much. Maybe the werewolves of the Quileute tribe didn't even exist, maybe the Blacks were in on it. If the Cullens were anything like the Volturi, they probably had humans working for them, with the promise that they could be changed into vampires. Jasper convincing me to stay, and telling me the stories of the others? Those stories probably weren't even true. Rosalie speaking with me had probably been planned, too, to show that everyone was starting to accept me, until she'd messed up and revealed the truth.

Had they even been vegetarians to begin with, or had they changed diet to convince me to join? What was their purpose? I could see only one reason why a united coven of ambitious vampires would exist: to overthrow the Volturi, and to become the new ruling class of vampires in their place. They wouldn't even need an excuse, if I were part of the coven. All they would need to do would be to kill the five core members, then have me convince the others to switch sides.

Edward falling in love with Bella was probably just a happy coincidence, unless they had somehow planned that too?

How long had they been planning this? From the moment Bella and I had arrived in Forks? Or had they had their eyes on my gift earlier? While I was part of the Southern Wars - had Edward gleaned my secret while watching a battle, or through reading my or Delilah's mind between action? While I wandered as a nomad - could they have deliberately planted Phil so I would find him? While I lived among humans? Had the defining moments of my life been real, or just plots planted by the Cullens?

Could there be more of them, ones who didn't live in Forks, with different powers, powers that could make domination even more likely?

Alice and Rosalie were watching me anxiously, waiting to see what I would do. I didn't know, myself. Should I run? Could I escape? Should I pretend I didn't know their secret? Should I command them all not to look for me, ever again?

I would have left, and never looked back, were it not for Bella. My sister. There was no way she was part of this, right? The beliefs I had, though, the ones that had started to waver when Jasper had 'proved' them wrong, flooded back with full force. Bella wouldn't care, because she was Edward's mate. She would always be on his side. To her, I wasn't her sister anymore, after all.

"Cate," Alice said. "It's not true."

That only strengthened my conviction. I hadn't said anything out loud, and she couldn't read my mind, so how could she know what I was thinking, unless it was the truth, unless they were afraid I would figure it out?

"Just leave me alone," I whispered. In the blur of emotions that were running through me, I accidentally let compulsion slip into my tone. The two Cullens immediately complied and ran away, in the direction of their house.

I sat down, though I technically didn't need to. Years of pretending to be human had made doing so a habit. I didn't want to run anymore. The Cullens had betrayed me, and it hurt almost more than Delilah's betrayal. All I wanted to do, now, was curl up into a ball and stay there for the rest of time.

I could hear it start to rain, a few hours later, far away, but the clearing in which I sat remained dry. Suddenly, I heard the rumble of a car approaching, accompanied by the faint sound of vampires running, and the familiar scents of the Cullens ... and Bella. What were they doing? Why couldn't they just leave me alone? Why did they have to bring my sister into it?

Slowly, even slower than a human, I got up. I felt exhausted. Not physically tired, of course, since vampires could never sleep or tire, but emotionally exhausted. They were getting closer, showing no sign of stopping, so I started running the other way.

"Bella, I'm going to go somewhere for a moment, alright?" I could hear Edward say in the distance.

"Where are you going?" Bella asked.

"To see your sister," he replied, before running towards me. Even though Bella begged him to take her with him, he didn't slow down. He probably knew that if Bella came with him, I wouldn't stay, no matter what. I pushed myself even harder, but I knew he was gaining on me. He was faster than anyone I had ever met, faster than even me, and I'd never met anyone before who could beat me.

He slowed down to run besides me. "Leave me alone," I growled, careful not to use compulsion this time. I didn't want to do anything they could use against me.

"I don't understand, Cate," he said. "What did Rosalie do? What did we do?"

My mind involuntarily went through the morning's events. Hunting. Rosalie telling her story. Realizing what the Cullens really wanted.

By the end, Edward was laughing?

"What are you laughing about?" I said fiercely. Was that admitting that I was right?

"No," Edward choked out. I realized he was answering my thought, instead of what I'd said last. That was kind of convenient now, but I knew it would be annoying later. Wait, what was I thinking? Was I assuming I would stay?

"Maybe you will," Edward replied.

"Not planning on it," I said. They hadn't said anything to convince me that I was wrong. Did I want to be wrong? One part of me certainly did, but the part of me that valued truthfulness wouldn't be swayed.

"Well, you are wrong," Edward insisted.

I thought about all of the events that proved otherwise. "Prove it."

"Well, it was just a coincidence that I came back when you were gone." I snorted. That seemed very likely.

"It was," he repeated. "I mean, Alice might have not interfered when she could have, but otherwise it was entirely a coincidence. I was in Denali the days I was gone, but breathing the pure air in the mountains, feeling homesick and knowing that I'd upset my family ... I decided to come back, on my own. Who was she, such an insignificant human girl, to keep me away from my family?"

"So you came back." His details were a bit better than just saying that it was a coincidence, but still. Was it he who was twisting the truth, or was it me?

His eyes suddenly lit up with an idea. "Use your gift," Edward said. "Compulse me to only tell the truth. Maybe then you'll believe me."

It was a good idea, but I hesitated. Did I really want to use my gift again? What if he found a way to circumvent it?

Then again, I'd believed everything Delilah had said when I'd told her to tell me the whole truth. I shouldn't set double standards for her versus Edward.

Of course, Delilah had actually done something to make me believe what she'd said, and didn't necessarily want me to be convinced of what I heard, and the situations were different.

Still I wanted to believe. And out of the approximately 1,480 vampires I'd killed, after all, only about a fifteen were able to resist my power. What was the chance of Edward being part of that 1 percent?

"Okay," I said slowly, then concentrated. "Until we are completed in discussing this topic, you can only tell me the truth." I didn't want him obeying my commands until the end of time, after all.

"It was a coincidence," he repeated, "that I came back the day you were gone." And I believed him.

"What about Tyler's car?" I asked.

"Alice only saw it crashing a few moments before it actually happened. I saw it in her mind, and I just reacted. All I could think, in the moment, was 'Not her'." Of course. It had been love. Even before either of them had realized it, they had been drawn to each other.

"Alice telling me about your gifts?"

"She just wanted to be your friend, and to have you trust us."

"Billy Black?"

"Everything I told you about the Quileute werewolves was true. Billy really is descended from the Alpha we met years ago, and it was a coincidence that he came when he did."

"Jasper talking me into staying?"

"Alice saw that he would have the best chance of getting you to come back, because of your common backgrounds, but you made that choice on your own. He didn't manipulate your emotions, other than with his words."

"Rosalie talking to me?"

"It was her own decision. She wanted to explain, and she also didn't want to be there while Bella was at the house. She was jealous." He winced, like he hadn't meant to say that, but I didn't understand. Hadn't Rosalie already admitted that to me? She was jealous that Bella was human.

Edward barely stopped himself from saying something else.

"All of you just happening to also be vegetarian?"

"What Jasper told you about Carlisle was true. None of us want to kill, and we all have our own reasons for keeping to the vegetarian diet. There's also the additional benefit of making us more civilized, without the competition for human blood, so we can form bonds of love with each other. That's why we stay together, not because of ambition."

"The fact that there are seven of you?"

"That just happened. Most of us have mates, so we would stick together anyway. Vegetarian covens are generally larger than normal ones, anyway. There's another coven in Denali that has five members, and only one mated pair."

I hadn't know that, but I didn't let it distract me.

"For how long did you know I existed?"

"Alice probably saw you and Bella coming in a vision, but she hid it from all of us. We got a hint of your gift the first day, but none of us realized that making others want to obey you was a supernatural gift. We all thought it was natural part of a vampire's charm. It wasn't until you told us that most of us knew about your gift. You don't think about it much, so I didn't know it existed until you told us."

"Are there more of you?"

"No, it's just the seven of us. It's been like that since Jasper and Alice joined in 1950."

I realized, then, that we'd somehow circled around, and now, we were at the Cullen house again. Why had we come here? There didn't seem to be anyone in the house; were we here to meet someone?

I looked at Edward, and realized it wasn't 'we'. It was 'I'. He wasn't staying. He was itching to get back to Bella. Of course. His mate was away from him and, as long as she was human, in danger. Bella was still an extremely fragile and clumsy human. Edward couldn't even leave her be at night while she slept, after all, though that may have more been for a romantic reason, rather than as a safety precaution.

"I'll leave you alone, so you can think about what I've said, but please don't leave yet. At least take the time to say goodbye to all of us. Especially Bella."

I nodded. It was the least I could do, if I left. Edward probably read my truthfulness fron my mind, because he turned and ran back in the direction we'd come, to the clearing.

I thought about what he'd said. I wanted so much to believe it. Jasper had once asked me if I really believed that vampires could never love others than their mate, or if I was just afraid of being betrayed again. Now, it was a different situation. I had accepted the hand when they'd offered it to me. Now, I wanted to be wrong, because otherwise, they really would have betrayed me. At the same time, I was afraid of my judgement being clouded, because I didn't want to have been betrayed, because I wanted to keep my new family.

But Edward had to be telling the truth, right? I had used my compulsion on him, after all.

I went inside the house. Maybe if I explored the place where the Cullens lived, I could start to believe that Edward really was truthful. Maybe I could convince the part of me that had never forgiven vampires for what Delilah had done.

When I'd come here, earlier this morning, I'd been more focused on the other vampires than my surroundings, but now, I observed all of the furniture with curious eyes. There was a marvelous grand piano. I wondered who played it. I'd learned a little, as a human, but I'd forgotten it all by now. Maybe I could get someone to teach me again.

I went upstairs, mentally classifying each room based on the scents that surrounded them. Rosalie and Emmett's room, Carlisle's office (a very old cross, probably about the same age as Carlisle, hung outside the door, something I found very ironic), Alice and Jasper's room, Carlisle and Esme's room, Edward's room, a couple of empty rooms that no one used. I was immediately drawn to one of them, the one across the hall from Edward's. It was pretty much empty, of course, but the view from it's single window was amazing. It had a small nook that could become a small reading corner, and I could imagine the furniture I could put in it. Light blue walls, a golden bookshelf filled with my favorites, a dark red desk that would hold my computer, a large closet with tons of clothes. It was perfect. I found it interesting how my natural color scheme, blue-red-gold, represented my three live; human, newborn wars, vegetarian nomad.

Suddenly, the front door opened. I had been so absorbed in imagining that I hadn't noticed the sound of vampires running, but now, I could. I ran downstairs, to see an unfamiliar male, with characteristic crimson eyes, surrounded by Jasper, Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle. Though it couldn't have been obvious to someone not from the Southern Wars, I could tell that they were carefully positioned around him to disable him if he posed any danger. Jasper's work, of course.

"Who's this?" I asked casually, momentarily ignoring my qualms about the Cullens. The threat this visitor could pose was more immediate than anything the Cullens might do, and I knew we had to provide a unified front to him.

"Laurent and his two covenmates, James and Victoria, have been traveling in the region. Laurent came here with us so we could talk about our differing lifestyles," Carlisle said civilly. I guessed that there was a lot he was leaving out, so I locked eyes with Esme - Jasper was one of our best offense, Carlisle was the leader, and I didn't feel like talking to Rosalie just yet. I needed to know what had happened.

"Esme, there's something I'd like for you to see. It's upstairs. Would you come with me?" She quickly stepped away from her place in the formation and walked towards the stairs. Together, we went up. I didn't speak until we were out of sight of the gathering at the front door.

"What happened?" I asked.

At vampire speed, and in a voice that couldn't be heard downstairs, she replied. "We were in the clearing, playing baseball, when they came. Alice hadn't seen them coming - it was a last-minute decision because they heard us playing ball. They were curious, and wanted to join. We had to hide Bella, and we did so successfully for a while, until the wind shifted and they smelled her. The second male, James, immediately crouched to attack, but Edward showed that he would defend her. Laurent said they wouldn't harm Bella, but Edward obviously didn't believe them. Alice, Emmett, Edward, and Bella split off from the rest of us, and we started to go back to the house. James and Victoria left once we'd arrived, and only Laurent stayed."

"Is Bella in danger?" I had to know. Esme's answering shrug didn't soothe my worries. This was all my fault! I hadn't been there to protect her! I could have used my gift, if I'd been there, to command James and Victoria not to harm her - it was clear that Laurent wasn't the real danger to my sister. If I hadn't been so selfish, so determined to focus on my own problems, I could have made sure there would be no danger.

"We have to wait until they get back." It was obvious who 'they' were: Alice, Emmett, Edward, and Bella. If they did indeed come back. They had to, right? So we could make a plan to keep my sister safe?

We went back downstairs, where Carlisle was explaining to Laurent about our vegetarian lifestyle. The two of them were seated on two couches facing each other, with Carlisle facing the door, while Jasper and Rosalie stood behind Laurent. Another defensive formation. Esme and I stood behind Carlisle, and I couldn't help but stare at the door. When it opened, would it be Bella and the others coming through with the news that there was no danger, or knowing that James and Victoria were on their tails, ready to kill my sister? How long would this mask of civility between our two covens last? How long would Laurent and Carlisle sit, pretending that there was nothing wrong, that everything was fine?

After what seemed like forever, I heard the sound of an approaching car. We all stood, and faced the door, watching as it slammed open.


	8. Predator and Prey

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns the Twilight saga and its universe. No profit is made here and no offense intended.**

**Chapter 8: Predator and Prey**

Edward entered, followed by Emmett carrying Bella, then Alice. Someone was growling, and it took me a moment to realize that it was Emmett, responding to Laurent's existence in the center of our gathering.

It didn't take me long to figure out what was happening. Bella was in danger.

"He's tracking us," Edward announced, glaring at Laurent. Of course, by 'us', he really meant 'Bella'.

"I was afraid of that," Laurent responded, and he really did seem sorry. Not because James was tracking Bella, not because his covenmate wanted to hurt a human, but because our two covens were clashing, and he didn't want to be in the middle of it. My opinion of him was dropping, little by little, with each passing second.

Alice walked quickly to Jasper's side, and Rosalie to Emmett's. I listened as they told their mates that we would be splitting up. They didn't say much. After a moment, Alice and Jasper ran upstairs, probably to pack. The fact that they were discussing in front of Laurent implied that they trusted him not to join James. Personally, I thought that trust was misplaced, but Alice must have seen it, so I let it go.

Carlisle was speaking. "What will he do?" he asked Laurent.

"I'm sorry," he replied. "I was afraid, when your boy there defended her, that it would set him off."

"Can you stop him?" Carlisle asked.

Laurent shook his head. "Nothing stops James once he gets started." Translation: Laurent was too much of a coward to try and stop him. He probably didn't have any control over James, anyway.

"We'll stop him," Emmett answered. I noticed his use of the word 'we'. Were they all planning on helping? This was something serious, something potentially deadly; there was no doubt that James and Victoria would use lethal force. Would they be willing to risk their lives, risk their mates, for my sister?

"You can't bring him down. I've never seen anything like him in my three hundred years. He's absolutely lethal. That's why I joined his coven." His coven. My suspicions were confirmed - James was and had always been the one in charge. I wasn't worried about how 'lethal' he was, since he definitely was no match for me, but if we were splitting up...

Laurent glanced around, his perplexed gaze focused on my sister. "Are you sure it's worth it?" he asked. Two enraged growls filled the air, mine and Edward's. Bella was not an 'it'! A glance at my sister, though, proved that she was thinking the same, that she wasn't worth it. Foolish little human. Of course she was worth it!

"I'm afraid you're going to have to make a choice," Carlisle said to Laurent. Did that mean that all the Cullens had already made their choice, to protect Bella at all costs? She was definitely worth it, but did the others feel the same?

Laurent looked at each of us in turn. If he chose wrong, what would happen? Would we kill him? Would we let him go free? If he chose to help us, would we trust him? Finally, he spoke. "I'm intrigued by the life you've created here. But I won't get in the middle of this. I bear none of you any enmity, but I won't go up against James. I think I will head north - to that clan in Denali." After a pause, he continued. "Don't underestimate James. He's got a brilliant mind and unparalleled senses. He's every bit as comfortable in the human world as you seem to be, and he won't come at you head on ... I'm sorry for what's been unleashed here. Truly sorry." He bowed his head, as I analyzed his words. He didn't think we could win, not without significant losses on our side. Of course, he didn't know about our gifts, four powerful ones, but we still would need to be careful. I noticed how, in all his discussion, he never mentioned the female, Victoria. We knew next to nothing about her. Did she have a gift that could be used against us? Did James?

Edward nodded his head slightly at me. He wanted me to ask them. Anything to help keep Bella safe. But would Laurent answer? It was clear that he didn't want to get any more involved than he actually was. I didn't want to use compulsion to force him to answer... oh. He didn't have to answer, just to think the answers. With my prompts, he would inevitably think about what he knew, and Edward could read his mind to find those answers.

I cleared my throat unnecessarily, and everyone's eyes went to me. "If you don't mind, Laurent, a few questions before you go?" He nodded his consent, though I could tell that he was wary.

"Do your covenmates have any special gifts? Why do you say that James is especially deadly? Has he always been this way? Does he only track humans, or vampires as well? What kinds of people has he gone up against? What about Victoria - does she have a gift? Is she just as deadly?" I had taken an unconscious step towards Laurent, and he cringed back.

"I haven't been traveling with James for long, so I don't know much about the two of them, only that James lives for the thrill of the hunt. He tackles deadlier and more dangerous prey each hunt, but he always wins, especially with Victoria at his side. She has an excellent sense for danger. I don't know about gifts, or about specific hunts. I'm sorry I don't have more information to provide." I could tell that he was lying, and was about to press him, until Edward caught my eye. He'd gotten the answers. I stepped back.

"Thank you," I said politely. "That will be all."

"I really am sorry," Laurent repeated.

Carlisle spoke. "Go in peace."

Laurent took one last look around the room, at our determined faces, and turned to leave. There was one last thing I had to add.

"Don't ever harm my sister, Laurent." I put as much compulsion as I could in my tone. Just in case. He nodded, then went out the door. It was closed for less than a second before the house burst into preparation.

"What did you get?" I asked Edward quickly. Laurent's answers hadn't been good enough for me, but maybe his thoughts would. Esme moved to a keypad, and with a few buttons pressed, metal shutters began sealing up the glass window. Hiding us from the outside world. I wondered if it was soundproof.

"James is, maybe, the best tracker I've ever seen. Tracking is his gift, and he's never lost his prey, or so Laurent thinks. He's tracked vampires before, and though that has always ended messily, with their coven involved, he's always won. Victoria seems to have some sort of gift in self-preservation. Her instincts always alert her to danger, and the best way to escape. James won't give up on this. He sees it as a game, a game I made even more interesting by protecting Bella. But if I hadn't, he would have killed her on the field." He ended his statement half- growling.

"So what's the plan?" I asked. They had to have one. If it had been up to Edward, I could see that they would have been long gone by now.

"Bella staged a scene with Charlie, so he wouldn't go looking for her when she disappeared. The tracker caught the end of the performance. She said she's going to Phoenix, which is exactly where Jasper and I will take her." Alice was the one to respond. I glanced at Edward with surprise. He wasn't going with Bella?

He shook his head. "It would be too obvious, then."

And I wasn't? It wasn't that I didn't trust Alice and Jasper to take care of my sister, but...

"As soon as Bella is clear, we hunt him," Edward said in a deadly tone. Of course. I would be more useful going after James than protecting Bella. With all luck, he wouldn't even go near her.

I looked around the room. By the end of this, there was no doubt that someone would be dead, and our goal was for it to be James. Would they be fine with killing one of our kind?

Carlisle spoke for them all. "I guess there's no other choice." He didn't want to kill, I could see, but in a choice between Bella and James, he would always chose Bella. Even though hunting James would put us all in danger. I was glad, and surprised, for it.

"How close?" Carlisle continued.

Edward responded. "About three miles out past the river; he's circling around to meet up with the female." There was no chance of her being like Laurent, it seemed.

My sister's mate turned to Rosalie. "Get upstairs and change clothes," he commanded. It was a good idea, to confuse the scents, but Rosalie only stared back at him angrily.

"Why should I?" she hissed. "What is she to me? Except a menace - a danger you've chosen to inflict on all of us." I saw Bella flinch out of the corner of my eye, but my main focus was on the other Cullens. To my surprise, instead of agreeing with Rosalie, they were all glaring at her. I had expected her perspective to be shared by more of them, but all the others, as it seemed, thought Bella was worth it.

"Rose..." her mate, Emmett, murmured, putting a hand on her shoulder. She shook it off.

Edward calmly turned from Rosalie to Esme. He knew there was no time to get pointlessly mad at each other, not while James was still alive and a threat.

"Esme?" he asked.

"Of course," she agreed, before pulling my sister upstairs so they could change. I wondered why he hadn't asked me, before I realized. There was no way Bella would fit in my clothes, or me in hers. Esme was at least close to Bella's size. Alice followed them upstairs to help, but I stood still downstairs. Thinking.

I'd vowed never to kill again, but there was no doubt in my mind what I would do if, no, when, I came up to James. He was a threat to Bella as long as he was alive. I would do everything in my power to end him.

The others moved around, getting ready. Emmett brought with him, in a large backpack, some kindling, to start a fire, in case there wasn't anything around, as well as some other items we would need. Carlisle passed out lighters and cell phones to each of his family. He held one lighter out to me, but I showed him the one I carried around with me at all times. He nodded, and gave me a cell phone instead. I turned it on, and found the preprogrammed numbers on it. Carlisle. Esme. Alice. Jasper. Emmett. Rosalie. Edward. Bella. Cate.

I realized that some of them already thought of my sister and I as part of their family. The revelation startled me.

"Esme, Rosalie, and Cate will be taking your truck, Bella," Carlisle said as he passed by my sister. I glanced at Rosalie, surprised that she was taking part. She was glaring at my sister, but didn't say anything to argue more. It seemed she knew that her family was set, that no matter what she said, they would protect Bella. Then, I realized what he'd said. Esme, Rosalie, and me.

"No," I replied, making it clear that this wasn't up for negotiation. They wouldn't send Esme and Rosalie as the hunting party without further backup, and I needed to hunt James. My gift would be most useful in keeping him from hunting Bella again without killing him.

Edward nodded, understanding my need. "She'll come with us," he said. Bella's panicked eyes flew to his face, and I knew exactly why she was so afraid. Not because she was in danger, not because she could be killed by a vampire, but because she was putting the rest of us 'in danger', since there was a strong chance this confrontation would lead to death. Her eyes flutter to me, and I knew she thought of me as even more vulnerable, despite what she knew about my past, because I looked so small, especially when compared to people like Emmett. I'll be fine, I tried to convey to her with my eyes. Given our current split, it was Esme and Rosalie I was most concerned about.

Carlisle continued, as if I hadn't rudely interrupted him, still speaking to Bella. I appreciated how he kept her in the loop; I always thought that the most effective soldiers, if you could guarantee their loyalty, were those who knew exactly what was going on. "Alice, Jasper - take the Mercedes. You'll need the dark tint in the South." Right, they were going to Phoenix with Bella. I hoped they wouldn't meet any other vampires, in the Southern Wars, there. It seemed unlikely, since they would be staying in a hotel most of the time.

"We're taking the Jeep," Carlisle finished. We, meaning him, Edward, Emmett, and me. We were the hunting party, and it gave me a strange, violent satisfaction to know it.

"Alice," Carlisle said, "will they take the bait?"

She closed her eyes, and everyone waited, silent and still, for her response.

"He'll track you," she replied at last. "The woman will follow the truck. We should be able to leave after that." She sounded certain, and I very much hoped she was.

James and Victoria would split up. That would make it harder to compulse both of them, there would also be less danger to us. I'd take it.

"Let's go," Carlisle said, walking towards the garage.

The family said their last goodbyes to each other, and it was watching them that I realized something. With the exception of Jasper and Alice, none of the mates would be traveling together. They were putting their lives at risk, and there was a chance their mates would die without them being there. Yet, they truly believed that Bella was worth it. That their family, no, our family, was worth it. Even Rosalie, though grudgingly, was helping to keep Edward's mate Alice, to keep Bella alive.

Could I be wrong about their true intentions, after all? Could they really love each other, and Bella and me?

«««««« νηγραμ ετ αλβαμ ιν λυμεν βυλτας »»»»»»

The quiet drone of narration in the car was broken by an angry hiss.

We were in the Jeep, driving north in Canada. Alice, Jasper, and Bella were long gone, headed to Phoenix by car. They'd left the moment Edward had called, to tell them that Victoria was in Esme's trail. The plan was for us to get as far north as we could, and for Esme and Rosalie to lead the female west. By now, we were near Vancouver, British Columbia, though it had taken a while because we had had to go around the Puget Sound, since there was a strait between the Olympic Peninsula and Canada, and since we had constantly changed direction based on Edward's instructions. James stayed just outside of hearing range and at the fringes of Edward's range, apparently, which was inconvenient. Edward kept gesturing to change direction, towards James for a while, then away when we got too close to human civilization, but James kept the spacing the same. He seemed to have some sort of instinct for these kinds of things, to know what would stop his hunt, including getting close enough to hear us talking.

"What is it, Edward?" Carlisle asked immediately, for the hiss, of course, had come from Edward. What had James done?

"He's turned back," Edward growled. "He's stopped following us."

Emmett immediately stopped the car to turn around, but Edward stopped him.

"We'll get there faster if we run."

We got out the car, but Edward didn't move. He didn't seem to know which direction James had been traveling in.

"What happened?" I asked Edward. "I thought you were reading his mind."

"He was suspicious, enough to stay out of my range. He was close enough for me to sense him, but not enough for me to actually hear what he was thinking. I knew the moment he turned back, though, because he disappeared completely."

I growled softly. "And now?"

He shook his head. "I can't tell where he went. We'll each go in a different direction, to spread out and find where he went. If we find his scent, don't follow it immediately; call the others and wait for at least one of us to get there."

We all nodded our agreement, and headed off. The trees flew by me as I ran, and soon, I was in a city. Vancouver, I was pretty sure it was. It was then that I caught another vampire's scent. Though I'd never met him, I knew it had to be James. Immediately, I took a deep breath, memorizing the scent. I slowed down, and hesitated. Wouldn't it be faster if I didn't wait at all, if I just followed the scent? Edward had told us not to follow the scent if we found him, but I was pretty sure that had been more for Emmett than it had for me. What could James do to me, after all? One voice command could stop him in his tracks.

But no. The Cullens were trusting me, as if I were one of their family. I didn't want to prove myself unworthy of their trust. No matter how pointless I found their instructions, I would follow them. I called each of them, telling them my location at the edge of Vancouver, then waited.

Each second seemed to last for forever, and I tried to distract myself with the mundane actions of the humans in the distance, at a school. It was daytime, but luckily cloudy, and I watched a group of kids play outside during their recess. A group was playing with a jump rope, another with a ball on a court comprised of four squares, a third on the small play structure. Their games might not have meant much to an outsider, but they certainly did to the children. Was that how an outsider might view the situation with James and Bella, as insignificant? After all, there was only the life of one human at stake, only two covens of vampires and a handful of humans involved. In the grand scheme of things, no event really mattered, did it? If everyone on Earth perished, the universe would still go on. Yet, each person still paid attention to everyday matters. Even vampires, who could live to see the rise and fall of civilizations, who could know how much things really mattered, did small things that might not matter to them in another hundred years. But wasn't doing exactly that, doing things even though they wouldn't make a difference on the world, the definition of living?

Suddenly, I heard the sound of another vampire approaching. On instinct, I whirled around and dropped into a crouch, ready to defend myself. I immediately relaxed, though, when I saw that it was only Edward.

Why had my first response, though, been to attack? My gift was so much more effective than physical confrontation, yet my core vampire instincts were still based in actual battle.

Edward was waiting for me. Oh. Right. We were tracking James. I followed him as he started running again, this time at a more human speed in the busier areas. Finally, we crossed a bridge to reach a peninsula that hosted a busy complex, an airport. Had James taken a flight?

Edward confirmed my guess. "He has a flight. Looks like he's headed back to Forks."

We hurried inside. If we could catch up to James, I could use my compulsion to force him to follow me. Even though he was probably close enough to hear me now, the building was too crowded for my gift to be very efficient. We got held up at security, because we didn't have a plane ticket or any form of identification with us. Finally, we managed to sneak through the exit. We hurried to the gate, but it was too late. James's flight, to the SeaTac airport near Seattle, had already taken off.

A few minutes later, Emmett and Carlisle caught up. I responded to their questioning stares. "He's gone back to Forks."

Emmett growled quietly, as Carlisle got out his phone to call Esme. His words were a quiet murmur as he filled her in, and warned her. She and Rosalie were back in Forks, keeping an eye on Victoria and Bella's father, Charlie. If both of them were back in Forks, it would be two-on-two. I didn't like the odds.

He then dialed Alice.

"Alice?"

"Carlisle," she said on the other end, as if she'd been expecting the call. What had she seen?

"Is Bella all right?"

"Yes." Edward breathed a sigh of relief, next to me.

"James is gone. He went on a plane, we think he's headed to Forks to start over. He was traveling too far behind us for Edward to read his mind well. What did you see?"

"I just saw him," she replied. "I see a long room filled with mirrors on the walls. The mirrors have a gold stripe across them. The room has a wooden floor, a black table with a stereo on it, and a TV. He is in the room, waiting for something. There's something to trigger that, a decision that hasn't been made yet. There's another room, too. It's dark, I can't see where it is. He's watching the TV, running VCR, there. Whatever made him get on that plane … it was leading him to the rooms."

Edward asked for the phone with his hand, and Carlisle gave it to him. "Is Bella there?" he asked into it.

"Yes," Alice replied, before calling Bella's name to hand her the phone.

"Hello?" It wasn't Alice's soprano bell tones, but my sister's very human voice, that spoke into the phone on the other end now.

"Bella," Edward said, relieved. It looked like separation was really affecting both of them.

I paid little attention to their conversation; it was just Edward filling in Bella on what had happened, and reassuring her worries by insisting that there was no danger to us. After a few minutes, they said their goodbyes, and Edward hung up.

"What next?" I asked immediately. Were we going back to Forks?

Edward confirmed the thought. "We'll get the Jeep and head back."

As Emmett's car rumbled back to Forks, traveling at a faster speed than I thought possible from the bulky vehicle, I felt something go through me, a sense of genuine fear. Not for myself, but for the Cullens and Bella. I was scared I would lose one of them, a scenario that was getting more and more possible, now. Even though there were two vampires protecting her, even there was no chance James would find her in Phoenix, I felt certain that this wouldn't end well for my sister.

«««««« νηγραμ ετ αλβαμ ιν λυμεν βυλτας »»»»»»

Strangely, back in Forks, we never caught scent of James, the tracker. Victoria flitted throughout town, and we constantly caught her scent in different places, but she was always gone by the time we were there. It was frustrating, waiting at the Cullen house for something to happen - we didn't dare leave Forks for long, in case James showed up just then. And so, we were all in the house when the phone rang.

Alice.

"I had another vision," she began. "The room with the VCR, only with light this time. I drew it, and Bella recognized it: her mother's house. The mirrored room, too. It's a dance studio in Phoenix, one Bella used to go to. Fifty-eighth Street and Cactus." Everyone was silent for a moment, while we processed, and then there was an explosion of sound.

"Is Bella all right?" That was Esme, perpetually worried about her family's safety.

"We're going to Phoenix," Edward said immediately, almost growling. The fact that the mirrored room was in Phoenix, so close to where Bella was now was frightening, but Bella's house was too much.

"The four of us," Emmett agreed, getting up to soothe Rosalie, who had just complained again about the trouble Bella was costing her.

"Alice and Jasper can stay in Phoenix to protect Bella's mother, Edward, Cate, Emmett, and I can take Bella to a safe place, and Rosalie and Esme can stay in Forks to protect the town," Carlisle decided.

A few minutes later, I stepped outside with the rest of them and started running towards Port Angeles - we had decided that bringing a car would be too much trouble. From the airport there, we would fly to Seattle, then to Phoenix. We bought tickets at the ticketing areas, all on the same planes, despite the rushed timeline, because there was nothing a little money couldn't do. We were landing in Phoenix at nine forty-five, we told Alice. Everything seemed to be going according to plan, but I had a sinking suspicion that it wouldn't last.

Even though we outnumbered our enemies eight (counting Bella, nine) to two, even though I had my compulsion, I believed deep down that this could only end one way: in Bella or James's death, and however many casualties that resulted in the rest of us.

The thought was enough to make each second on the plane seem like hours, enough to make me spring up once the seatbelt sign turned off to exist the plane as soon as possible (we were in first class, so we did get to exit first).

It was as we exited the terminal, as we walked to the place where we would meet the others, that my suspicions were confirmed.

Jasper stood alone, waiting for us, without his mate or my sister besides her. "Bella's gone," he said, and everything came crashing down.


	9. Who Gets Hurt

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns the Twilight saga and its universe. No profit is made here and no offense intended.**

**Chapter 9: Who Gets Hurt**

I felt like echoing Edward's enraged growl as he heard those words. I couldn't believe it. Bella was gone? What had happened? A flood of calm enveloped me, and I knew it was Jasper, using his gift to keep Edward from exploding.

"Explain. Now," Edward said tersely, still upset but forced to stay a bit calmer. Jasper nodded.

"She snuck off," Jasper continued. "She got a phone call, from her mother, before we left to the airport. I wasn't in the room at the time, and Alice couldn't see her face when she took the call; she went to a different room. Everything she said made sense, but the tracker must have been on the other side. He must have threatened her mother, and forced her to go to him for her to save Renee." I could imagine it. Fragile, harebrained Renee in danger from a supernatural force she knew nothing of; Bella making a deal with the devil to save her, because that was exactly the kind of selfless person she was. She would throw herself in front of a blade, or, in this case, a vampire, to save those she loved, never mind that most of us were more bulletproof than she was.

"Alice had a vision, after the call. Bella was in the mirrored room with the tracker. We thought it was something he'd done, some decision he'd made to change things, but it wasn't. It was Bella. We got to the airport and waited. Thirty minutes before your scheduled arrival, she said she wanted to get breakfast. She asked me to come with her, to use my gift to calm her. The emotions I felt, panic and apprehension, matched up with it, but those must have come from what she was planning. We passed a restroom, and she went in. I waited for a few minutes outside the door, before Alice came running up. Bella had gone out the other door. She was headed to meet the tracker."

We had started moving, following Jasper's lead, moving so smoothly it was hard to tell that we weren't walking calmly, but moving at the same speed a human would while jogging. Quickly.

"Where?" I asked.

Jasper replied. "The mirrored room." Of course. That was the room where it would happen.

Emmett was speaking, now. "Why didn't you call us, on the plane? Where's Alice?"

"It wouldn't have gone well if we'd told you on the plane." Alice had certainly had seen it. Even I could imagine Edward's response if we'd been on the plane at the time, if he'd been told, while surrounded by humans and without Jasper nearby, that his mate- I cut myself off abruptly, seeing Edward's eyes on me, knowing he was following my thoughts. "Alice is getting a car - the Mercedes won't fit all of us." We reached the doors that led out of the airport, and he handed out some long-sleeved clothes, sunglasses, and scarves, to cover up as much skin as possible, because the sun was bright and shinning.

A car honked at us, and the window rolled down to reveal Alice. The five of us squeezed in. Alice drove at top speed towards the house, following my directions. It took ten minutes. Bella, who had taken a cab, must have taken longer, right? About twenty minutes? I prayed that we wouldn't get there too late.

I could smell Bella's scent through the open window, as we neared Renee's house, and, a few times, I thought I saw splotches of blood, where she must have tripped and fallen. I couldn't even smile at the thought of her perpetually clumsy nature.

Something came to me. Bella had gone to the tracker, someone who had every intention of ending her life, and I knew he wouldn't kill her quickly, not with the sadistic way he'd made Bella's existence a game. There was something good that came from that: he would kill her slowly. We might get there in enough time. And he wouldn't do anything that would end her life quickly - her heart probably would stay beating. If worst came to worst… we could change her.

I could smell the blood before we even went inside the building. I knew my eyes were turning black, and I could see the others' eyes darkening, too. I heard Alice telling Jasper that he could do it, and I wished briefly there was someone to say the same to me. Only Carlisle's eyes stayed the same light gold.

Alice turned to me. "Cate, compulsing him is not going to be enough. This will not end, unless you kill him. He'll come back somehow. I've seen it. Remember this."

I nodded quickly, before giving my next command. "James, stop!" I shouted, hoping the monster inside would heed, hoping that my sister wasn't already dead, hoping that I would be able to stand the blood. I hadn't considered it before, but there was every chance that I, or Jasper, or Emmett, or even Edward, could be the source of Bella's death.

It was silent inside the building, but I couldn't tell if Bella's heart was still beating - the sounds around us, the highways and roads nearby, masked any sounds that might be coming from the studio.

Edward ran the last few steps to the door of the studio, followed shortly by the rest of us. He opened it easily - it was unlocked. We stepped inside. Edward practically flew to the room that was the source of all the blood. The room where my sister was either alive or dead.

Lying on the floor, unconscious but still breathing, Bella lay on the floor in a pool of her own blood. I looked away quickly, but I couldn't shake the horrific image of the many injuries that decorated her body. The tracker was bent over her, but not for long; Edward threw him off of her, before focusing on Bella, all ferocity forgotten. "Oh no, Bella, no!" he cried. Carlisle followed him to where she lay, as did Alice, but the rest of us focused on the barely moving figure that was James.

"Come with us, James," I said, trying not to focus on the blood. "To the other room."

He followed obediently, like a hound dog, barely glancing at Bella.

Once we were in the other room, Jasper moved to kill him, but I shook my head. "I have to do this." I remembered what Alice had said. I didn't understand why, but she was right. My compulsion wasn't absolute, and the tracker was smart. He would find some other way to hurt us if I compulsed him. It wasn't enough to let him off with a warning and a command, either, after what he'd done to Bella. He'd attempted to take a life, so he would pay with his own. He had to die, but I would make it a fair fight. "Just keep him in this room," I added. Jasper and Emmett nodded, uncharacteristically silent, expressions of deep concentration on their faces. I knew they were trying not to think of the- I forced myself to stop, and focused on James.

He was facing me, now, his eyes cold and not betraying a hint of emotion, even though he had to be scared, now, of what I would do. The predator had become the prey. I moved my fingers to a three, then a two, then a one, telling my allies when I would do it.

One. "James, stop following the previous commands I gave you." With a rapid movement, suddenly free of my compulsion, he attacked.

Though I hadn't fought a battle in so many years, I hadn't forgotten a thing. _Feint._ Dodge. _Front attack. _Leap over, and feint. _Sidestep._ It was a whirlwind of moves, centuries of nomadic life were no match for constant training and years in the Southern Wars. I almost smiled. Doing this, fighting others, came so naturally, and for the first time, I was doing this for a cause I believed in.

After I'd taken off both his arms, he tried to escape, moving past me towards the only door, but Jasper and Emmett blocked his path and pushed him back. I didn't look at either of them, at what expressions had to be on their faces. I had to focus on James.

In a fluid move, at last, I leapt onto his back, my teeth at his throat. I didn't stop there, either. My teeth sank into his hard vampire skin, ripping the head off. Emmett and Jasper started the fire, and I tossed the shredded pieces of the tracker into the flames. The horrible metallic shrieking sound didn't even bother me - this wasn't murder, this was justice.

The moment he was gone, the situation came crashing down to me. The scent of blood filled my nose, burning my throat - I'd forgotten to hold my breath when I'd fought James. The flames were too much to bear, and the only way to put them out would be to give in, to drink the blood.

No! I would not give in. My sister would not be another Justin Smith. I would not be the cause of her death. I could just imagine what Edward would do, how I would feel, if I killed Bella.

I did the only thing I could do. I ran.

I could sense Jasper and Emmett doing the same thing, fighting the urge by putting as much distance as we could between us and the-

In a deserted alleyway, I cautiously took a breath. I couldn't smell the scent anymore. I filled my lungs with as much clean air as possible, taking deep, gasping breaths. Finally, I turned towards my companions. Jasper was watching me, while Emmett had his eyes closed and was leaning against the wall.

"All right?" I asked them. They nodded.

"Yeah, I think so," Emmett replied. Jasper had a strange expression of triumph on his face, probably because he had done it. I had done it. We had done it.

Emmett tried to joke. "Wow, Cate, that was some fighting. You've got to wrestle me sometime!"

Jasper watched me approvingly. His eyes seemed to convey congratulations. Emmett, on the other hand, looked excited. I could have guessed the next words that would come out his mouth.

"Wow, Cate! We've got to wrestle sometime!"

I smiled hesitantly, but my expression quickly dropped when I remembered the context. "Bella?" I asked, afraid to learn the answer.

Alice stepped into the alleyway then, her eyes noticeably dark, but relief clear in her face. "She'll live. James bit her, but Edward was able to suck the venom out, and Carlisle stabilized the rest of her injuries." I breathed a sigh of relief. Bella would live, and as a human, too. It hadn't all been for nothing. She then turned towards Jasper, and kissed him passionately, ignoring Emmett and I. After a few seconds, I turned away out of politeness.

We stepped out the building, and, a few moments later, Edward emerged, holding an unconscious Bella. I immediately held my breath, and I saw the others around me do the same.

"So what happened?" I asked when they finally pulled away. What was our cover story?

Alice replied. "Well, Bella had an accident at a hotel. She fell down a few flights of stairs and through a window. Also, a dance studio was burned down by vandals."

I snorted. "The sad thing is, that's actually something that might have happened."

"So, we've got some work to do," Emmett agreed. "You ready for some fun, Cullen-style, Cate?"

"Destruction of public property, the best thing to do when you're bored," Jasper added.

Alice had a bit too much fun at the hotel, creating the evidence, but when it was done, there could be no doubt that someone had had an accident down the stairs. I was surprised how easily Jasper edited the computerized evidence to the contrary of our story - it seemed that he was the one in charge of changing records for the family when they moved once it became obvious that they didn't age.

I was relieved to find that Renee hadn't actually been in danger from James - he'd used the VCR and home videos to trick Bella. I called her and Charlie to tell them the cover story, and they were due to fly to Phoenix soon.

There was only one more thing I had to do: see Bella in the hospital. I was terrified by the thought of so much blood, but also determined. I'd run from a room full of blood. I could do this.

I knew that Jasper was having the same dilemma, but he had decided the same as me. He visited the hospital a few hours before I went, and hadn't come back afterward, but I got the feeling he'd done fine.

As I walked through the sliding doors of the hospital, I carefully took a breath. The smell wasn't actually as bad as I thought it would be. The strong scents of fresh, exposed blood was mostly covered by the bitterness of the hospital medication and hand sanitizer. I thought I would be fine, as long as I didn't stumble into any operating rooms.

I stopped outside Bella's hospital door. There was no one around, so I didn't bother knocking as I opened the door.

Edward was sitting on a chair beside her bed, holding her hand. An IV connected to the other one, tubes were inserted into her nose, a heart rate machine was hooked up to her, and she smelled weird, probably from blood transfusions. She was still asleep, but looking much better than she had in the studio. I tried not to remember how she'd looked when we'd arrived - Edward didn't need to see it again. "How is she?" I asked instead.

"Recovering. Thank you."

I didn't ask what it was for, but I didn't think I deserved his thanks. All I'd done was kill James, and that wasn't exactly something I was proud of.

"Alice says she'll wake up in thirteen hours," he added, when I didn't say anything else.

There was silence again. To fill it, I spoke about something random. "We took care of the cover story, fabricated the evidence. There's nothing to suggest that she didn't fall down two flights of stairs and through a window."

He nodded, probably having already heard it from someone else, and we were silent again. At last, I spoke what I had come here to say, something I knew he would be struggling with.

"It wasn't your fault."

"If I hadn't been here, she wouldn't have been on the baseball field. James wouldn't have hunted her. She wouldn't have gotten hurt," he said immediately, like he'd rehearsed it.

"I was the one who introduced her to this world," I argued. "If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. But it was her choice to be involved with the supernatural. She accepted that there would be risks, but thought it would be worth it."

He sighed, but let it go. I got the feeling I hadn't convinced him, but it wasn't really my place to tell him. There was something else, though, that I could say.

"I'm glad she has you. She needed someone like you. You're perfect for each other." He nodded.

Something kept running through my mind, a question I didn't dare ask. Why hadn't he let the venom spread? Why hadn't he changed her, or at least let her keep changing? She would have been just like us, a vampire, by now. It wasn't a question of what Bella wanted - she'd accepted the risks and stated a desire to become a vampire when I'd told her about the supernatural. She had to be changed sooner or later, even more so because she was his mate.

"I don't want her to lose her soul," Edward replied to my thought. I sighed, but let it go. That was something he and Bella would need to decide. I had a feeling, though, that my sister's stubbornness would triumph, in the end.

"We'll see about that."

I turned to leave. Before the door closed, though, Edward spoke. "There's something you need to see. Ask Carlisle."

I nodded as I left the room. Once I got to the hotel where we were 'staying', I found Carlisle. "Edward said-"

He nodded, and handed me a computer with a USB plugged in. "James filmed it."

A thrill of anger and fear of seeing what had happened to Bella went through me. I swallowed the mouthful of venom that had come up at the thought of the sadistic vampire, especially with this new information. He'd filmed it. He'd filmed himself torturing my sister.

I sat on the bed and pressed play. The now-familiar mirrored dance room filled the screen. After a few minutes, a door opened, and footsteps sounded. Someone entered the studio, but didn't move outside the hallway. After a few more moments, there was a sigh, and someone pressed play on a remote. The TV in the corner started to play, showing a pier at a beach. Bella was leaning over, and lost her balance over the edge.

"Bella? Bella?" Renee's familiar voice, recorded in a video, sounded, and the footsteps picked up again, sprinting this time. "Bella, you scared me! Don't you ever do that to me again!" The door opened, and my sister ran in. She whirled around trying to find the source of the voice, finally seeing the TV.

Renee laughed, and, in the video, she tousled Bella's hair, before the screen turned blue.

Bella turned slowly again, finally looking towards the camera, where the tracker must have stood. She stared for a moment, before James emerged in the frame. He placed a small black object, a remote control, by the TV, before turning to speak to my sister.

"Sorry about that, Bella, but isn't it better that your mother didn't really have to be involved in all this?" His voice was amiable, ordinary, at odds with the kind of person I knew he really was.

Bella stared at him, relief in her eyes. "Yes," she answered.

"You don't sound angry that I tricked you," he said, sounding confused, probably that her responses were the exact opposite of an ordinary human's.

"I'm not," she replied, sounding almost happy, probably that Renee hadn't been involved, after all.

"How odd. You really mean it. I will give your strange coven this much, you humans can be quite interesting. I guess I can see the draw of observing you. It's amazing-some of you seem to have no sense of your own self-interest at all." No, that was just Bella. "I suppose you're going to tell me that your boyfriend will avenge you?" He sounded hopeful, probably that the 'game' would continue after her death.

"No, I don't think so. At least, I asked him not to." But she hadn't seen Edward before she'd sneaked away.

"And what was his reply to that?"

"I don't know. I left him a letter." Of course. I didn't expect Edward to show me the letter, either. That was something private between him and Bella.

"How romantic, a last letter. And do you think he will honor it?" James didn't seem to think so, and I completely agreed. Forgiving simply wasn't vampire nature; I would know.

"I hope so," Bella replied. Of course, she, selflessly, would hope that, after she was gone, this conflict with James and his coven would end.

"Hmmm. Well, our hopes differ, then. You see, this was all just a little too easy, too quick. To be quite honest, I'm disappointed. I expected a much greater challenge. And, after all, I only needed a little luck." The idea disgusted me. He really had seen my sister's life-or-death as only a game.

Bella said nothing in response, waiting for him to say more. She looked strangely calm, but that was just like her, to not be afraid of sadistic vampires set on torturing her to death.

"When Victoria couldn't get to your father, I had her find out more about you." I was suddenly extremely grateful to Esme and Rosalie - though I had never been extremely close to Bella's real father, I knew what his death or disappearance would do to Bella, and I didn't wish him dead of a vampire attack. "There was no sense in running all over the planet chasing you down when I could comfortably wait for you in a place of my choosing. So, after I talked to Victoria, I decided to come to Phoenix to pay your mother a visit. I'd heard you say you were going home. At first, I never dreamed you meant it. But then I wondered. Humans can be very predictable; they like to be somewhere familiar, somewhere safe. And wouldn't it be the perfect ploy, to go to the last place you should be when you're hiding - the place that you said you'd be." James had been too smart, and our trick hadn't worked, after all.

"But of course I wasn't sure, it was just a hunch," he continued. "I usually get a feeling about the prey that I'm hunting, a sixth sense, if you will." Edward had noted that, too. That was why he hadn't fallen for our trap, why he hadn't ventured into hearing or mind-reading distance, because of his sixth sense. "I listened to your message when I got to your mother's house, but of course I couldn't be sure where you'd called from. It was very useful to have your number, but you could have been in Antarctica for all I knew, and the game wouldn't work unless you were close by.

"Then, your boyfriend got on a plane to Phoenix. Victoria was monitoring them for me, naturally; in a game with this many players, I couldn't be working alone. And so they told me what I'd hoped, that you were here after all. I was prepared; I'd already been through your charming home movies. And then it was simply a matter of the bluff." I felt sick. We'd come back to protect Bella, but that had ended up putting her in more danger, by telling James where she was.

"Very easy, you know, not really up to my standards. So, you see, I'm hoping you're wrong about your boyfriend. Edward, isn't it?"

Bella didn't answer his not-really question.

"Would you mind, very much, if I left a little letter of my own for your Edward?" He stepped out the frame and adjusted the settings on the camera, widening the frame so I could see everything in the room in excellent clarity. Getting the perfect shot for his 'little letter'.

"I'm sorry, but I just don't think he'll be able to resist hunting me after he watches this. And I wouldn't want him to miss anything. It was all for him, of course. You're simply a human, who unfortunately was in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and indisputably running with the wrong crowd, I might add." I growled at how little he thought of my sister, of humans in general. He didn't understand how everyone had lives of their own, strengths and weaknesses and loved ones and dreams that made them worth just as much as vampires.

"Before we begin, I would just like to rub it in, just a little bit. The answer was there all along, and I was so afraid Edward would see that and ruin my fun. It happened once, oh, ages ago. The one and only time my prey escaped me. You see, the vampire who was so stupidly fond of this little victim made the choice that your Edward was too weak to make. When the old one knew I was after his little friend, he stole her from the asylum where he worked - I never will understand the obsession some vampires seem to form with you humans - and as soon as he freed her he made her safe. She didn't even seem to notice the pain, poor little creature. She'd been stuck in that black hole of a cell for so long. A hundred years earlier and she would have been burned at the stake for her visions. In the nineteen-twenties it was the asylum and the shock treatments. When she opened her eyes, strong with her fresh youth, it was like she'd never seen the sun before. The old vampire made her a strong new vampire, and there was no reason for me to touch her then." He sighed. "I destroyed the old one in vengeance."

"Alice," Bella said quietly, having reached the same conclusion as I had. Was this Alice's mysterious, forgotten past? Abandoned by her family, sentenced to an asylum, transformed into a vampire by a friend who'd died defending her? I couldn't imagine what her reaction to this had been. I hoped she was all right, though I doubted it.

"Yes, your little friend," James answered. "I was surprised to see her in the clearing. So I guess her coven ought to be able to derive some comfort from this experience. I get you, but they get her. The one victim who escaped me, quite an honor, actually. And she did smell so delicious. I still regret that I never got to taste … She smelled even better than you do. Sorry - I don't mean to be offensive. You have a very nice smell. Floral, somehow…" I doubted that he would have let Alice go; that just didn't seem like something he would do. That was probably what Alice had meant, before we'd confronted James, that he would try to get to her if he couldn't hurt Bella.

In the video, the tracker took a step towards Bella, until he was close enough to touch her. I watched in horrified fascination. Would he kill her now? No, he would draw it out. He lifted some of her soft brown hair, and sniffed it. I marveled at his control. He gently placed the lock of hair back by her face, then reached up to stroke her face. Bella didn't move an inch, looking like a vampire in her non-movement. She didn't even flinch at his cold hand.

"No," he murmured. "I don't understand. Well, I suppose we should get on with it. And then I can call your friends and tell them where to find you, and my little message."

Finally, Bella began to show a bit of fear. Her knees trembled, and it looked like she would flaw.

James stepped back, and I wanted to look away. He circled around her, his face still friendly but his eyes sharp and deadly. He slumped forward into a crouch, his smile growing to show his teeth.

Bella tried to run, bolting towards the emergency door though she must have known that it was useless. I watched with dread in my dead heart as James moved faster than the camera could record, blurring as he moved in front of her. His hand moved to her chest, pushing her back. My sister flew back like a rag doll, crashing into the mirrors of the studio behind her. I heard a few faint cracks, but she didn't bleed. That was probably James's goal, so he could draw it out as long as possible.

He walked towards her slower than he needed to. "That's a very nice effect. I thought this room would be visually dramatic for my little film. That's why I picked this place to meet you. It's perfect, isn't it?"

Bella tried to escape again, scrambling on her hands and knees, crawling towards the door she'd come from. James moved again, stepping hard on her leg this time. With a crack and a scream, the bone broke.

"Would you like to rethink your last request?" he asked, still using that pleasant voice. He nudged Bella's broken leg and she screamed again. "Wouldn't you rather have Edward try to find me?" Edward. Edward had seen this. I couldn't imagine what his reaction must have been like. If James really had won, I knew beyond anything that he would have hunted down the tracker_. I _would have hunted down James.

"No!" Bella still insisted. "No, Edward, don't-" James's hands moved again in a blur, smashing into Bella's face and throwing her towards the mirrors broken by the last time she'd flown through the air. The glass did what the last crash and the broken leg hadn't - Bella started bleeding, redness spreading to cover her hair and streaming down to her shirt. Even with no smell accompanying the image, my throat burned slightly.

James couldn't resist anymore, not with the blood that was pooling around my sister. He crouched again, and leapt towards her, a growl filling the room. Bella's hand moved to cover her face, and he bit into it instead.

Just then, a voice came from outside. My voice. "James, stop!" The tracker froze, his instincts to drain my sister dry conflicting with my command.

Edward flew into the room, followed shortly by the others. He threw James off his mate, then cried in horror. "Oh no, Bella, no!"

I stood in the doorway, focusing on the frozen body of James. "Come with us, James. To the other room."

I faintly heard my other commands, and the battle that ensued, in the other room, but my attention was focused on Edward, Carlisle, Alice, and Bella.

"Bella, please! Bella, listen to me, please, please, Bella, please!" Edward was begging. "Carlisle! Bella, Bella, no, oh please, no, no!" He started sobbing.

Carlisle methodically began poking around Bella's head. She cried out, finally making a sound.

"Bella!"

"She's lost some blood, but the head wound isn't deep," Carlisle said calmly. "Watch out for her leg, it's broken."

A howl of agony came from Edward.

"Some ribs, too, I think."

"Edward," Bella mumbled faintly.

"Bella, you're going to be fine. Can you hear me, Bella? I love you," Edward reassured, doubt clear in his voice. He wasn't sure if she would be fine.

"Edward," she said again, a bit clearer.

"Yes, I'm here."

"It hurts," she whimpered. Of course it did.

"I know, Bella, I know. Can't you do anything?" That was directed to Carlisle.

"My bag, please." Alice responded by bringing Carlisle's black medical bag towards him, the struggle clear in her eyes. "Hold your breath, Alice, it will help."

"Alice?" Bella groaned in a question.

"She's here, she knew where to find you," Edward replied.

"My hand hurts," she said faintly. He had bitten her there, but they didn't know it!

"I know, Bella. Carlisle will give you something, it will stop."

"My hand is burning!" she screamed at last. Fear filled the eyes of the three vampires around her.

"Bella?" Edward asked.

"The fire! Someone stop the fire!" she screamed again, and I was reminded of my own transformation, and the horrific burning that had accompanied it.

"Carlisle! Her hand!"

"He bit her." Carlisle sounded horrified now.

"Edward, you have to do it." That was Alice. I had no question what 'it' was: bit her more so she would transform faster. Alice's fingers brushed by the tears of pain in Bella's eyes.

"No!" he bellowed.

"Alice," Bella said again.

"There may be a chance," Carlisle said thoughtfully.

"What?" Edward begged. Had he really been that desperate for Bella not to change into a vampire?

"See if you can suck the venom back out. The wound is fairly clean." He poked at her head with one of his tools, but Bella didn't even react to that.

"Will it work?" Alice asked. The future must have been extremely shaky for her to ask that question.

"I don't know," Carlisle replied. "But we have to hurry." Before the venom spread too far, before it was too late to reverse the change.

"Carlisle, I…" Edward didn't think he could do it. "I don't know if I can do that."

"It's your decision, Edward, either way." I disagreed; it really was Bella's decision. "I can't help you. I have to get this bleeding stopped here if you're going to be taking blood from her hand."

"Edward!" Bella screamed again, trying hard to keep her eyes open, writhing in pain.

"Alice, get me something to brace her leg! Edward, you must do it now, or it will be too late."

I couldn't watch, as Edward drank from the wound in Bella's hand. It must have taken so much for him to stop drinking, to not kill Bella. I couldn't understand how he'd found the strength to stop.

"Edward," Bella said quietly.

"He's right here, Bella," Alice replied.

"Stay, Edward, stay with me…"

"I will," he promised.

Bella sighed, sleep taking over.

"Is it all out?" Carlisle asked.

"Her blood tastes clean. I can taste the morphine."

"Bella?" Carlisle asked. "Is the fire gone?"

"Yes," she replied with a sigh. "Thank you, Edward."

"I love you."

"I know."

Edward laughed quietly.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked again. "Where is your mother?"

"In Florida," she sighed. "He tricked me, Edward. He watched our videos." She tried to open her eyes. "Alice. Alice, the video-he knew you, Alice, he knew where you came from. I smell gasoline." That must have been from our fire, from our destroying of James.

"It's time to move her," Carlisle said.

"No, I want to sleep," Bella complained.

"You can sleep, sweetheart, I'll carry you. Sleep now, Bella." He picked her up in one smooth motion, and began to leave the room. Before he'd taken more than a few steps, though, he turned around, his eyes locking on the camera before growing furious. He quickly stepped towards the still-recording object, and the screen went black.

What a happy ending. What a sad, horrifying climax. I was glad I had been the one to kill James; I couldn't have imagined how I would have dealt with the anger otherwise. I looked up from the video to see Carlisle, back in the room. I gave him back the computer.

"Emmett and Jasper are headed back to Forks. Do you-?"

"No," I replied immediately. I wasn't leaving Bella.

He nodded as if he'd been expecting that answer. "They leave tonight, at sunset, in the Mercedes."

"Thanks." After watching me for a moment, he left the room.

«««««« νηγραμ ετ αλβαμ ιν λυμεν βυλτας »»»»»»

When I said goodbye to Jasper and Emmett, I was happy, but something about the atmosphere told me that not everything was perfect with the other Cullens yet. After the car had disappeared past the highway, I realized what it was. Perhaps I already had known. The family wasn't complete. The goodbye party had consisted of only Carlisle and I; Alice hadn't even acknowledged that her mate was heading back to rainy Forks. In fact, I realized, I hadn't seen Alice since before the hospital visit, before the video. The video. Of course. Hadn't I thought, upon seeing James's taunts, that I couldn't imagine Alice's reaction? What if this had been her reaction, to push away everyone else in her life because she was hurt?

"Where's Alice?" I asked Carlisle. My suspicions were confirmed at his reaction to my question. "Is she all right?"

"She left just after she saw the video. I think she was headed northwest, to California." He hesitated. "I hope she'll respond better to you."

He expected me to go after her. With a start, I realized that that was exactly what I had been planning on doing, to go after Alice like Jasper had for me, to talk to her. I didn't think that I was the right person to talk to her, but I was the only one who could. Carlisle evidently had already tried, Edward was too focused on Bella, and the others were in Forks, or on their way there. Alice would probably come to terms with the new information in time, even if I didn't talk to her, but I wanted to be there for her like she and the others had been there for me. Alice had been the first one to accept me into the family, even before I knew that I wanted to be a part of it. She deserved that much from me.

I nodded my thanks, then took off, following Alice's scent across the border to California, towards a forest full of giant trees, ones unlike the evergreens of the Olympic Peninsula. I passed a buried bear carcass - she had hunted - before finally stopping a few yards away from a hunched figure sitting on a log. Alice.

"Go away, Cate," she said. Her tone frightened me - it was like she was dead, devoid of all emotion. I kneeled down besides her instead.

"I brought you some clothes." I gestured to the bags I'd bought at a mall in Los Angeles. I'd gotten the feeling that she would need them, and the bear blood splattered on her clothes proved my suspicions. She nodded, and changed into them, hardly paying attention to them even though I knew she normally would have approved of the stylish way they fit together.

"Thanks," she replied, after waiting for a moment for me to leave. I didn't move. Finally, she broke the silence. "What do you want?" Despite the nature of her words, her tone stayed blank.

"How are you? No, sorry, that was a stupid question. I know you must be feeling … bad." I had no other words for it.

She snorted without humor. "That doesn't even halfway describe it. I guess I'd always imagined that I'd had a loving family, that my parents had searched for me for years before giving up when I went missing. To find out that they abandoned me because I was different, because I was a freak-" She didn't continue that thought. "I bet they didn't even know that I'd gone missing from that place."

"It wasn't your fault."

"Does that matter?" she asked. "I don't know who I am. I've always assumed I was called Alice, because it sounded familiar when someone said it, but that might not even be my name. Everything I thought I knew about me was wrong."

"But at least you know, now. And it doesn't matter who you were. That's not the person we see everyday. It matters who you are now. That's Alice Cullen, with her loving family and her mate and her love of shopping and overexcited nature and visions of the future and tendency to be friends with people she's never met before. I'm not saying you should just forget what you learned. I know you have to or want to learn more. I'm saying you shouldn't push the rest of us, especially Jasper, away because of it. You need time, I understand, but think about who you're hurting by running away. You're hurting Jasper - he loves you but feels helpless right now, because he can't help you. You're hurting Carlisle and Esme - they want you and Jasper to be happy. You're hurting the rest of your siblings, Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, and Bella, but most of all, you're hurting yourself. Find out more about your past, or forget all of this even happened, whatever you want, but do so with the rest of us, with Jasper, at your side. You have an amazing family who loves you. Let them in."

She was silent for a long time, and I almost thought she hadn't heard me. At last, though, she got up. "Thank you, Cate. I needed that."

I nodded. "You've really changed, haven't you?" she said thoughtfully, before darting off.

I realized she was right. I had changed. Who would have thought, a few months ago, that I would have been promoting mate bonds? But that wasn't what I'd been doing. It hadn't been about an unnatural connection between two vampires. It had been about the love between Alice and Jasper, two of my siblings.

I'd accepted the Cullens as my family. It hadn't been logical justifications that had convinced me, although seeing the Cullens risk themselves and their mates for my sister's sake had helped. In the end, it had been a real sense of love that had made me realize that with the Cullens was where I belonged. I loved them, they loved me, and everything was alright now. Bella would get better, and she and Edward would finally come to some conclusion about changing her, so she would live forever like the rest of us. Alice would talk to Jasper, maybe decide to do some more research into her life. We'd live in Forks until we looked too young for our fake ages, before we moved somewhere new, together. Maybe I'd even go to college once or twice, or a dozen, or a hundred times. My life was, maybe not complete, but good, now. More than just a sister, I had two amazing parents and a whole host of siblings now. I still didn't plan on ever finding a mate, but this was my new life and my new family.

I stepped into the light of the new day that was lighting up the woods, headed back to Phoenix where half my family was. The sun was setting on my old life of loneliness, and rising on the new.


	10. Epilogue: Twilight

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns the Twilight saga and its universe. No profit is made here and no offense intended.**

**Epilogue: Twilight**

"Yield?" I asked quietly, my teeth at my opponent's neck. He growled in response, trying to throw me off his back, but I held on, not releasing my grip on his throat.

"Yes," he said at last. "I yield."

Smiling I hopped of Emmett's back. "What's the score now?" I asked teasingly. "Twelve to zero?"

"Fifteen to zero, actually," Jasper corrected, as Alice and Rosalie exchanged money before heading back into the house. I didn't understand why anyone would bet against Alice, especially given my track record, but if it made them happy...

"Again," Emmett insisted.

I sighed. "I don't see why you keep on insisting. Unless you learn something new, it's going to end the same way."

He harumphed. "Tomorrow, then."

I shrugged. "Whatever you want."

I always beat Emmett in our matches, but the others, not so much. No one could win against Alice, of course, given her vision, and, much to my dismay, Jasper beat me the majority of the time, though we were a lot closer than most of the other pairings, other than Edward versus Jasper. Everyone else, I won against, at least, in physical matches.

There were other matches, too. Chess games were Emmett and Jasper's other favorite, except their version included nine chess boards stacked together. They taught me that version, but I could never beat either of them in those games of chess.

"Cate! It's time!" Alice shouted from upstairs, though we could have heard perfectly well if she had whispered. I sighed, but complied, knowing that if I didn't, Alice would turn her impossible-to-resist puppy eyes on me. I'd tried to mimic the expression a few times, but I could never do it as effectively as Alice did.

Within seconds, I was upstairs in Alice and Jasper's room, where we usually got ready for special events. A second later, Edward opened the door for Bella, and her human scent entered the house. I spent most of my time at the Cullen house, now, instead of at Charlie's house, where I would have to hide my vampire nature, so I was less used to her potent aroma. I cringed as the burn in my throat flared again, but swallowed. It was bearable. I used to live with the smell, I reminded myself.

"Why are we here?" I heard Bella ask Edward.

"Come upstairs," Alice called down. She grinned, ecstatic at the idea of dressing Bella up like a Barbie doll. Bella groaned when she heard Alice's voice, but came upstairs.

"Cate, I thought you were on my side," Bella complained.

I shrugged in response. "Alice." Bella sighed, but understood. Alice was an unstoppable force of nature.

"Bella," Alice began, a pouty tone in her voice, her face morphing into an expression that made it impossible to say no. "I don't have any human experiences of my own, you know. You wouldn't want to deprive me of this, would you." I was glad Alice had come to terms with her past, enough to use it as ammunition against us.

"Of course not," Bella said quickly, before frowning and thinking back at what she'd said. "But-"

"So sit," Alice replied smugly. Bella sat.

It took almost the entire day, with Alice working at a human pace, but by the end, Bella looked absolutely spectacular in the expensive blue dress. She wore stiletto heels, or a heel, on one foot, and her normal cast on the other. She had faint makeup on, enough to compliment her natural beauty but not too much to seem fake. Her hair was done up in a fancy style only Alice knew how to do, that looked elaborate but not overly complex. When she went down the main stairs, accompanied by me so she could keep her balance, Edward didn't breathe for a moment. Bella seemed to only have eyes for him, her mate, dressed in a stunning tuxedo.

"At what point exactly are you going to tell me what's going on?" I heard Bella say as they entered Edward's Volvo. I didn't hear his response, because Alive was hissing at me.

"Come on! Cate! Rose! She's not the only one going to prom!"

I sighed again, but obediently put on my new deep green dress, bought after a day of shopping in Paris (that had been Alice's idea, of course. I may have liked shopping, but not _that_ much). "I'll do your hair?" I offered Rosalie - there was no point in offering to do Alice's or my hair, after all. She nodded, already dressed in her splendid scarlet attire, elegant and outrageous, all at the same time, exactly Rose's style. Alice's dress, too, an interesting black dress, fit her perfectly. As for me, I couldn't judge for myself, but Alice and Rose had assured me that I looked perfect in it.

The boys, Jasper and Emmett, were already in the car, having taken half the time it took us girls to get ready. We were taking Rosalie's red convertible to school. Of course, speeding at over a hundred miles per hour, we got there within minutes, before Edward and Bella arrived, though they'd left before us.

We walked through the doors as a group, hiding the fact that I didn't have a date (not that I'd wanted one in the first place). I'd never been to a dance before, but somehow, I'd always imagined them as more… formal events. The decoration was, frankly, childish and gaudy - there were balloon arches and garlands of tissue paper all across the room (the gym, not some sort of fancy hosting location), though the fairy lights across the room were nice. Emmett and Rosalie immediately paired up, and though Alice looked hesitantly at me, I waved her towards Jasper. I didn't mind that I didn't have anyone to dance with. Within moments, both couples were dancing in a waltz-style that didn't exactly fit with the style of music (some sort of energetic pop song), but looked amazing either way.

A boy, the poet who'd tried to ask me to the spring dance a while ago, started to approach me, abandoning his date, so I quickly started dancing by myself. I started self-consciously, but soon gave myself over to the rhythm. I was reminded, faintly, of my rhythmic gymnastics days. It was fun, in a way, to dance again.

Before I knew it, Edward and Bella were dancing besides us, too. Bella looked frightened at first, but, with Edward as her partner, she didn't trip once, not even with the boot on her still-healing foot. She actually looked to be enjoying herself for a while.

Jasper and Emmett took turns dancing with me, as well, throughout the night. I almost didn't notice when Edward abruptly stopped dancing, and turned towards the door. Almost.

I recognized the boy who walked in: Jacob Black, one of the Quileutes. He looked self-conscious as he walked towards us. No, towards Bella.

Edward snarled quietly, though I didn't quite know why.

"Behave!" Bella chastised him.

"He wants to chat with you," Edward responded.

I pretended to be totally absorbed in my dance with Jasper, but paid close attention as Bella and Jacob swayed to the music.

"Wow, Jake, how tall are you now?" Bella asked casually, friendly.

"Six-two," he said smugly. I felt a faint twinge of jealousy - that was over a foot taller than I'd ever be.

"So, how did you end up here tonight?" Bella asked. I was curious, too. Why had he come? Did it have anything to do with the Quileute vampire legends?

"Can you believe my dad paid me twenty bucks to come to your prom?" he asked. Yes, it certainly did have to do with the legends.

"Yes, I can," Bella replied. She probably was thinking the same as me. "Well, I hope you're enjoying yourself, at least. Seen anything you like?" she teased.

"Yeah." He sighed. "But she's taken."

I almost whirled around. He was talking about Bella?! I turned my head slightly to look at them. The blushes on both their faces, and the anger in Edward's, seemed to confirm that. I almost laughed. Did he really think he could win Bella from Edward, when they were so obviously mates?

Edward looked at me. _Up for a little competition? _I teased, before focusing on their conversation once more. Jasper went to dance with Alice again, and Emmett stepped in gracefully.

"You look really pretty, by the way," he added. I snorted. Pretty didn't even cover the work Alice and I had done for her.

"Um, thanks," Bella said, self-conscious as always about receiving compliments. "So why did Billy pay you to come here?"

"He said it was a 'safe' place to talk to you. I swear the old man is losing his mind." They both laughed weakly, neither of them really believing the words. If only Billy's ideas were untrue.

"Anyway, he said that if I told you something, he would get me that master cylinder I need." I had no idea what a 'master cylinder' was, but I could guess that it, along with the twenty dollars, were something Jacob Black needed.

"Tell me, then. I want you to get your car finished."

"Don't get mad, okay?" Jacob said, sounding ashamed.

"There's no way I'll be mad at you, Jacob," Bella assured, sounding like she was telling the truth. I began to wonder what, exactly, the relationship between her and Jacob was. "I won't even be mad at Billy. Just say what you have to."

"Well - this is so stupid, I'm sorry, Bella - he wants you to break up with your boyfriend. He asked me to tell you 'please'." I could have laughed. Did Billy really think that Bella breaking up with Edward could keep him from killing her, if he really had wanted to?

"He's still superstitious, eh?" Superstitions, right. Both Billy and Bella knew that the legends were no stories; only the messenger had no idea.

"Yeah. He was … kind of over the top when you got hurt down in Phoenix. He didn't believe …" I could finish the sentence. He thought Edward had turned or killed Bella.

"I fell," Bella lied. Right. She had fallen, but that had been while getting tortured by a sadistic vampire.

"I know that," Jacob said quickly.

"He thinks Edward had something to do with me getting hurt." Bella sounded angry. I agreed that _Edward_ had had nothing to do with her getting hurt, but vampires in general? Not so much.

"Look, Jacob, I know Billy probably won't believe this, but just so you know, Edward really did save my life. If it weren't for Edward and his father, I'd be dead." Definitely true, just missing the part about vampires.

"I know," Jacob claimed, sounding like he really did believe her.

"Hey, I'm sorry you had to come do this, Jacob," Bella apologized. "At any rate, you get your parts, right?"

"Yeah…"

"There's more?" Bella asked incredulously. I wondered what else Billy wanted to say.

"Forget it," he mumbled quietly. "I'll get a job and save the money myself."

"Just spit it out, Jacob."

"It's so bad."

"I don't care. Tell me." Yes, do tell us, I thought.

"Okay, but, geez, this sounds bad. He said to tell you, no, to warn you, that, and this is his plural, not mine, 'We'll be watching.'"

Bella laughed, and I felt like doing the same. Of course they would be watching. It wasn't like we were going to kill _Bella_, of all people.

"Sorry you had to do this, Jake," Bella said.

"I don't mind that much. So, should I tell him you said to butt the hell out?"

"No. Tell him I said thanks. I know he means well." I didn't agree, but Bella had always been too forgiving.

The song ended, and Emmett went to dance with Rosalie again. I stepped to the side, watching the scene in front of me more openly now.

"Do you want to dance again? Or can I help you get somewhere?"

"That's all right, Jacob. I'll take it from here," Edward answered politely.

Jacob flinched at the sound of his voice directly behind the two.

"Hey, I didn't see you there. I guess I'll see you around, Bella." He stepped away, waving slightly.

"Yeah, I'll see you later." I wondered when Bella planned on doing that.

"Sorry," he repeated as he turned away.

Edward and Bella started dancing again, but I'd stopped dancing for too long. Poet-boy came up again, looking determined. I looked to the other Cullen men, but they were mysteriously focused on other things.

Traitors.

"Hello, Katherine," he said, trying to be smooth. I almost started at the name - the Cullens had been calling me Cate for so long that the other name sounded weird. I thought that, if someone were to call me Caitlin again, I wouldn't recognize the name much, either.

"Oh, hi. What's your name again?" I asked innocently, trying to discourage him.

"The name's Stephens. Lee Stephens," he said unfazed. I almost groaned. James Bond impersonation, anybody? I wasn't that inclined to anyone named James at the moment, either.

"Look, Leo," I began, purposely messing up his name.

"Lee," he corrected.

"I'm not interested, okay? Just leave me alone. Stay with your girlfriend." The girl, Samantha Wells, was approaching, an angry expression on her face.

"Playing hard to get, eh?"

I closed my eyes delicately. "Lucas-"

"Lee."

"Whatever. How many times do I have to say this? Get this through your thick head. I would rather date a three-headed chimera from the planet Thetis than you."

He paused, confused. He obviously wasn't that smart, either.

Samantha reached us, and cleared her throat.

"He's all yours," I told her cheerfully. Her eyes narrowed for a moment before he pulled her away. Once they were out of earshot, I turned to the others.

"What was that for?" I hissed angrily. "Edward! Alice!"

Emmett laughed boisterously, and ruffled my hair, messing it up even more than its already impossible-to-control state.

"It comes with the last name, Catie," he said. "You'll get used to it."

I groaned, but smiled at the same time. If over excited boys was the price I had to pay for joining the family, I'd gladly pay it.

Outside, the sky dimmed to twilight. Another day gone, but a new life just beginning.


End file.
